October 28, 2010

It is Thursday NOT Wednesday!

Feeling: Blush - embarrassed!

This morning I posted the post Wordless Wednesday, it was a picture of Makoko scratching his Ass..giggle!

Anyway, I was looking at my diary and the date has just hit me right between the eyes...today is actually THURSDAY!
Somehow I have lost a day??

When I look back at the past month the days kinnda just blur into one....could it still be porridge brain from pregnancy, is it lack of a full nights sleep, is it my meds for the depression, is it that I have too much going on, is it that I need a holiday, is it that I am on the wrong side of 25 and have only 1 year left on the right side of 30...........All of the above me thinks.

Next I will be leaving Luke somewhere....to avoid this I think I may buy one of those harnesses to tie him to me until my brain function returns to normal.

*At this rate I may have to use the harness until Luke goes to High School...SIGH!

Much Love M x

Wordless Wednesday.

Me.... wordless never!

We went to the Johannesburg Zoo and look at what we saw Makoko The Silver Back Gorilla in all his glory...ever have an Itch that you just can't scratch? Must be a male thing.....

Much Love M x

October 27, 2010

Stand up and WALK!

Feeling: Weary

My patience has been rather thin with Luke this week, he is a few days shy of being 11 months old and is desperately trying to walk.

This is a fantastic milestone BUT he is very frustrated that he can't get it right and is still too nervous to just go for it.

Every time I put him down to crawl or play he ends up throwing a tantrum.

I thought they were only supposed to have brat attacks from the age of 2??

I am telling you Luke literally gives those Baby Bible Book the bird and does things his way and in his time. Great for him but not great for me.

I have no clue how to handle these situation in the correct way.

I pretend that I am in control but inside I am doubting my every move.

Luke wants to pull himself up on everything but is still very unstable so he often ends up falling backwards or forwards. He screams blue murder every time I catch him just before a spill. He does not want help...I can almost hear him saying...."Mamma I do self"!

He also WANTS to PUSH everything as well ... chairs, coffee tables, foot stools, his walking ring, if it can move he will push it.

He manages to move these objects around while tottering behind them. He happily does this with me holding his T- shirt at the back in case he falls (if you see my son in funny shaped, stretched out T- shirts this is why)

The problem comes in when he hits a wall, someones leg, a big table or a step and can't move the object that he is pushing...he tugs, pulls, puff and pants and when he can't get going again he throws another wobble!

Never mind that my back is now broken from bending over at a 90 degree angle while holding his T-shirt. He will moan until the object is moved from its 'stuck" position and he can happily carry on pushing it. This can carry on for more than an hour no jokes!

If we go shopping he does not want to sit in his pram ohh no King Luke want to push the pram......can you imagine an unstable 11 month old pushing his pram in a shopping center..do I really need to explain the problem!

As I put him in his pram he throws a brat attack. SIGH!

My angel child has been replaced by a very frustrated little boy who is trying so hard to communicate, walk and do things for himself but at this point he can't, so it is a daily battle.

Mom in one corner and Luke in another..... I have ignored the tantrums, distracted him and tried to "listen" to him as he is pretty clear about what he wants but it is hard and I often feel myself loosing it.

I am trying to breath and am looking at things from his perspective.

He is not being naughty (I don't think) but is frustrated.

This is all well and good but he can't get his own way all the time and I refuse to just give into him when I know he is going to hurt himself or someone else...So I will prevail even when strangers give me that "for the love of money and peace control you child" hairy eyeball.

Hmmmff if you can do a better job or have some handy advice by all means come and show me...as I confess I don't know what the heck I am doing, the books tell you how to deal with a 2 year olds tantrums but 11 months......???!

Much Love M x

October 26, 2010

Problem Solved by an 11 month old baby.

Feeling: TOLD

What can I say Luke is Still not sleeping through and is 11 months old!
In all honesty he has never slept through but I look at the bright side of life and think it is because he is a genius and that his brain is overactive.... or so I tell myself - I dare anyone to tell me any different! (Right eye is twitching).

A few days ago I heard Luke's cry at around 4am. With a huge amount of effort I pulled myself out of my warm, fuzzy, happy dream and rose from my bed. This took me a good couple of minutes.
By the time I got to Luke's room he was screaming, so I scooped him up and cuddled him....shoo shoo shooo its okay Mamma's here...(physically not mentally but whose checking).

It was like someone had switched a light he immediately stopped screaming and gave me a toothy grin.
Hmmmm manipulation me thinks?

I took him to the window and said look my baba it is dark outside.. DARK and you need to sleep.

He looks at me, frowns, points to the roof and says ight, IGHT! This is his version of LIGHT!

Hmmmm I got told......(listen you silly woman put the light on and it wont be dark - problem solved)

I think it is quite a compelling argument.

Much Love M x

October 20, 2010

Have you slapped a model today?

Feeling: VIOLENT!!!

I just READ this article and really, really wish that I hadn't.
It made me want to punch Gisele in her perfectly six packed stomach.
I WILL NEVER by her damn flip flops again, no matter how nice they may be.

What an arrogant, know it all, incredibly stupid shmodel!
She may be one of the most beautiful woman in the world but she is a bit of a plank. She should seriously stick to smiling and waving.

Don't you just love woman who have been mothers for a whole few minutes but already know everything. To make matters worse they have no problem handing out advice to other terrified, nervous OMW a baby just came out of me....what do I do now mothers.

Take a read:

Supermodel Gisele Bundchen: breastfeeding should be made law
The Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen has said that mothers should be forced to breastfeed for the first six months of a baby's life.

Published: 2:42PM BST 02 Aug 2010

Gisele Bundchen believes mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months The catwalk star, who lives in the US, risked controversy by saying there should be a law preventing mothers from using formula milk.
The 30-year-old told Harper's Bazaar magazine: ''I think breastfeeding really helped (me keep my figure).

''Some people here (in the US) think they don't have to breastfeed, and I think 'Are you going to give chemical food to your child when they are so little?'
''I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.''
Her comments came after TV star
Denise Van Outen said she gave up breastfeeding her daughter Betsy after less than a month because she did not want photographers to take pictures.
''I probably should have persevered a bit longer than three weeks,'' she said last month. ''But I can't be sitting in Starbucks and breastfeeding, because they (photographers) are taking pictures.''
Bundchen, the world's highest-paid supermodel, had a natural birth at her home in Boston in December after meditating throughout her eight-hour labour.
Bundchen, who is married to
American football star Tom Brady, got up to make pancakes a day after her first child, son Benjamin Rein, was born and was modelling swimwear just six weeks later.
She said meditating every day prepared her for giving birth, telling Harper's Bazaar: ''It prepared me mentally and physically. It's called 'labour' not 'holiday' for a reason, and I knew that.
''You want to go into the most intense physical experience of your life unprepared? That doesn't make any sense to me.
''Then I was ready and I thought OK, let's get to work'. I wasn't expecting someone else to get the baby out of me.''

The one good thing that has come out of me reading the above is that I will try my best to not judge other mothers (I hang my head in shame as I to have been judgemental at times, fortunately most times I am to tired to care).

I want to try and support and encourage others not break them down. Being a mother is hard enough without dealing with OTM's. (Over The Top Mothers)

We and our children are all different and I truly believe that loving your child more than yourself will automatically make a great mother.

Breastfed fed Vs Bottle fed

Stay home moms Vs Working moms

Cloth Nappies Vs Disposable Nappies

Natural birth Vs Cesar

Drug free birth Vs Epidural

Cry it out Vs Rocking

Negotiation Vs Time out

Is this stuff really that important that it warrants such judgement?

Gee wizz it makes my mind boggle, if I look back to the day that I found out I was pregnant I think I have changed my mind about a million things a billion times.
Hahahaha nothing has gone strictly to my well thought out plans.
So for now I am going with my gut (winging it).

I will look after my family MY WAY and you look after yours YOUR WAY and we will get on just fine.

Much Love M x

October 14, 2010

I TOLD You So!

Feeling: Like the vastly Superior Partner.

I adore my hubby but at times I could slowly strangle him with a big grin on my face. Today is a perfect example of this. MEN strange creatures!

We have a maid (Supa Cleaner) that comes once a week to do a good house clean and all my ironing! She comes every Thursday and to be honest it is the highlight of my week.
I think I may actually love her, I mean really, really love her! There is nothing better then walking into a sparkly, clean shiny house after work knowing that I did not have to lift a finger to get it that way!

Any hoo.....I leave our house quite early every morning to drop off Luke and Shnookz at Nana's house. Supa Cleaner can't get to our house before I leave... public transport in Johannesburg is a running joke.

So I leave the front door security gate unlocked and front door key hidden for her, so that she can let herself in. Not exactly the safest plan but I do what I have to do :-)

Chris always leaves the house after me so EVERY Thursday I gently remind him not to lock the security gate so that my beloved maid can get into the house to do all the jobs that I detest!

Chris always responds to my "nagging" with ..... A SIGH..." I KNOW MANDS you DO NOT have to ALWAYS remind me"! He says this through gritted teeth...get the picture?

Today was no different, on my way out the door I gave Chris a quick peck and whispered "Don't forget the maid is coming, leave the sercuity gate op.....! He gives me this irritated grunt and says "I KNOW, I know"!!!!
So with a raised eyebrow, I leave it at that.

I get to my office and the phone rings...guess who is on the phone...come on just guess!
MY MAID..."Hello Mandy,the gate she is locked"!

Can you Feking believe it... after all my gently reminding and Chris's irritated I knows....he locked the gate!!

I am now livid and call him...."Chris do you know that the maid is standing outside our house because somehow the gate that you left open locked itself "....sarcastic I know but geeewizzz DUDE!

I I I I Diiiiid leave it oooopppp....he starts to argue rather hesitantly....hmm are you sure I ask?
"No" is his reply! I could almost hear him hang his head in shame!

So he had to leave work to go all the way to our house to let my poor rain soaked maid in...a 20 min drive both ways....A lesson learnt lets hope so.

I can't wait to go home tonight and say.....repeat after me...I will always listen to my wife and smile while doing it!!

Much Love M x

October 11, 2010

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Mamma Scorned

Feeling: AGED!

I have not posted this post for a few weeks as I have had to edit it quite a a few times.
The reason for my many, many edits is because I was totally and utterly over emotional when ever I thought about the below experience.

Even now as as I think about it now I get a knot in my stomach and feel all weepy and emotional but now that I am a tad calmer I am ready to let it all out there. I am a lady in training so I have taken out all the swear words, name calling and sarcasm..okay not really but I have toned it down just a little.

King Luke was ill a few weeks ago.....not sniffy he has a cold ill but he was really, really ill.

It all started on a Friday morning at 1am to be exact (see I am trying to be factual and not emotional) - I heard this strange sound coming from his room - yes I have supersonic mothers hearing and was almost immediately wide awake. I can do this if I hear any unusual noises coming from his room. Moms can do this, it is what makes us fabulous.

Anyway I shoot up after hearing a funny gurgle, spluttered cry - fully awake now I dash to his room - note Chris is still snoring away.

As I rush over to Luke's cot I discover that Luke is vomiting and vomiting. I call Chris who helps me clean the ENTIRE cot and I give Luke a quick bath.

He feels all hot and feverish but still manages to give me a toothy grin after each vomit session - bless his heart.
I make a make shift bed for him next to me in our room so that I can monitor him for the rest of the night. He continues to vomit every hour until 6am.

Me being a sort it out and make it better kinda Mamma had him at our doctor by 8am. I was there as their doors opened. The Doc did all that Doc stuff that Docs do and declared that Luke had Gastro. Take this for temp and that for pain and keep him hydrated.

Great simple, I can do that!

I collect all the prescribed medication and even bought him Cream Soda - I am an anti -fizzy drinks Mamma - BUT at this point I would have given him anything, all I wanted was for him to keep something down.

Fast forward, 15pm Friday afternoon Luke is STILL vomiting, I am now getting panicky. I take him back to the Doc who decides to give him an injection - not at all pleasant, these injections burn, Luke screams blue murder. The injection is supposed to stop the vomiting.....

We get home and Luke is exhausted but still puts up a good fight not to go to sleep. I take this as a positive sign that he still has fight in him. Friday night he is restless and does not sleep well at all but I feel a little bit more optimistic because he does not vomit all night.

Saturday morning.... more vomiting and now diarrhea starts. I don't know what more do....I am getting more and more worried. Luke is very irritable, has a temp, will not eat or drink anything and is becoming lethargic.
I take him back to the Doc.....3rd time, the Doc now decides to admit Luke to hospital for a drip, he is apparently dehydrating. (No sh1t Shurlock)

We arrive at the hospital after my Doc gets hold of the Pead. He gives us a referral letter and tells us to go to Ward 1.
The nurse on duty Mrs. Meany tells me that she does not know who we are or that we were coming. She is very rude and seems annoyed that we have disturbed her Saturday.
She at no point gives me her name or title. She does not greet us, she does not ask my sons name either. All she does is tell us to wait in the isolation room, which we do. Not a good start but I am still relatively calm..just a bit annoyed.

In passing she tell my husband that my son would need a drip and that I could not stay the night with him. It was said in passing. I was so stressed by this stage that I did not comprehend what she was saying but I told my husband that that is the one rule I would under NO circumstance obey. She had very poor communication skills, lacked compassion and did not show an ounce of concern for my son. I instantly disliked her and my first thought was how the heck is she a Pead Nurse?

Without discussing anything or getting me to sign the ward rules she takes my son away to put the drip in. We were not asked whether we would like to be with our son while the procedure was performed, I feel totally unsure and reluctantly let her take Luke away.
She did explain what she was doing to my son or why we could not go with him.

Needless to say I had to listen to Luke scream and scream for more that 15 minutes. I was VERY distressed and started pacing, another nurse Mrs. Dumbass who was standing around staring at me, turns around and tells me to stop worrying, they are are not killing him...the wrong thing to say at a time like that! Insensitive much, I felt the urge to B^%$ slap her.
She also said I could go into the procedure room to see what they are doing to my son.

I walk into the room and was rudely told that I was supossed not to be there- this was after I was told that I could go and see what they were doing by Mrs. Dumbass.
I asked Mrs. Meany and the other nurse Mrs. fugly if they are nearly done and why it was all taking so long?
They do NOT answer me or even look up.......! What the.....?
They had my baby on his back, he was hysterical, the tears were pouring down his little cheeks. I thought I was going to explode with rage.

My sons drip was finally inserted, they did not even try and soothe him.....they had to try both his hands to get the drip in and he had red marks on his arms where they were holding him down!

The nurse Mrs. Fugly that assisted Mrs Meany during the procedure walked up to me and said that she DID answer me when I asked if they were nearly done. She told me said hmmmmm!
Okay now my blood pressure has just gone through the roof hmmmmm is not an answer.

Can you say inappropriate, disrespectful and just plain rude?
From the time we arrived to the time we left this nurse never once greeted me and when she came into the ward to change my sons bedding she would just shove passed me. I told her straight out, You are not allowed to touch Luke again!

From the moment I walked into Ward 1 I got a very bad gut feel and did not trust these woman with my son. For the first time in my life I went totally, completely, fully with my gut. There was no way that I was leaving my son for the night with these people.

Nurse Meany had a HUGE argument with me when I refused to sign the rules form which was only given to me AFTER they had put in my sons drip. It said "No parent will be allowed under no circumstance to stay with their child at night". I am sorry but WTF???????

I told them I would not sign the form or leave my son for the night and if they tried to make me I would sit on the floor outside his room. My son is a baby he can't communicate to tell me what has happened to him during the night so I refuse to leave him with people that I don't know or trust ohhh and by the way my bill will pay your salaries so I think it is fair to say what I want goes....By the way our 1 night stay in that hole was R4000.00!

I was then threatened and was told that if that was the case I would have to sign a refusal of treatment form. Basically it was a form stating that I was refusing treatment for my son - it is a form that is used to make their lives easier so that if anything had happened to my son from that point on their asses would have been covered.
I said that I would not sign it but would take my son to another hospital where I could stay with him all night. I told them I was taking him with the drip in his arm as I was not having that procedure done again.

Mrs. Many then said that I could not leave with the drip in his arm – A BLATANT LIE – when we left on Sunday afternoon he came home with the drip in his arm! I never took my son back on Monday to have the drip taken out. I took him to another clinic as I was by this stage totally uncomfortable with that hospital and would never go back there ever again. We only got a phone call on Tuesday asking why we had not come back to have his drip taken out!

She also told me that she would not refer me to another hospital and that I would have to take my son to the emergency rooms and wait in a Que, another lie. I did not need her referral I already had a referral letter from my doctor.
As you can now imagine I had now had it with these woman and told them that I was not BUDGING.
Eventually the manager of the hospital was called I explained the situation to her and she said that I could stay in the reception foya on these horrible plastic chairs for the night, which I did. The nurses had strict instruction from me that when my son woke up they were not to touch him, they had to call me on my cell and I would cuddle him and put him back down.

My son woke up twice during the night, screaming. I was called, I calmed him down and got him back to sleep quickly, quietly and with no further trauma to him.
It amazes that in this day and age that they do not let mothers stay with their children, it is very old system, what are they trying to hide?
I heard babies crying for their parents all night, it was as far as I am concerned very cruel.

The “reason” that were given to me as to why I could not stay the night was ridiculous. Basically they said that the parents disturb the children - I think I actually laughed when they said this. No dear nurse you don't want the parents there to monitor you....I watched you lot all night eating, laughing, bumping and bashing things, taking countless smoke breaks. I heard the children crying for their parents.....!

My son only sleeps on his tummy, he does not like a dummy, he has a security blanket that he rubs or sucks when he sleeps, he will not just lie down and go to sleep he needs to be rocked.....the nurses did not at ANY point ask any of these important questions regarding my child.

He is a little person who has his very own likes and dislikes and should be treated as such. Instead he was treated as the child of the over emotional mother and was literally a number!

I was even told that I was insane and that they could not believe that I was actually sleeping in the foya. I told them that THOSE parents that I watch leave their crying babies were insane and that protecting my child was my only concern so they can think whatever they want about me.

Again I was not introduced to any of the night nurses ...would you drop your child off at creche not knowing who is looking after your child? It is crazy that no one takes the time to tell you who is looking after your child and what their titles are?
I also noticed that anyone and everyone was just allowed into the ward there was NO security what so ever during the day or night. What if someone walked in and just took my baby?

I could go on and on....it took 7 days of vomiting, diarrhea, extreme nappy rash but my son got better. I think my nerves will take a bit longer to heal.

I don't want my experience to scare you but if you are a like me unwilling to compromise with anyone when it come to what if right for your baby then before admitting your child to a hospital investigate their rules and regulations, go with your gut and protect your child.

At the end of the day no -one will love, protect or look after your child like you do.

Much Love M x

Much Love M