November 12, 2010

CrAzY Bucket List.

feeling: Thank Goodness It is FRIDAY!

I was reading this blog and I came across the bloggers Bucket List, it made me laugh. Some of the things were pretty standard but most of it was pretty much outrageous. Thank goodness I am not the only one with a few unusual ideas.

This blogger inspired me to just put it all out there.

I want to list 100 CrAzY things that I want to do before I die.
Today I will start with 10, now remember they are CrAzy and maybe a bit of a fantasy but what life without a bit little bit of fun.

I will let you know if I actually get the guts or money to ever do what is on my bucket list.

My BUCKET list:

1. I want to CHOOSE my sons future wife - I am even considering an arranged marriage - I will teach him that it is how we do things in our family(It is our culture!)Bwahahahaha evil laugh!

2. I want to walk topless down the beach. Don't ask me why but I just want the confidence to do it.

3. I want to hire one of those metal detector thingies and go treasure hunting. I watched a program where people go looking for gold using a metal detector in the Australian Outback.I love the idea of hidden treasure.

4. I want to eat at a restaurant and then I want to choose a nice family/couple and anonymously pay for their entire meal but it must be a BIG meal.

5. I want to get a six packed stomach before I am 35, 6 years it should be doable shouldn't it?

6. I want to try truffles not the chocolates but the thingies that pigs find.

7. I want to one day dye my hair pitch black. This is the only colour I have not tried.

8. I want to just smash my car into someone else car/taxi when they are driving like an idiot (Have you ever watched Fried Green Tomatoes...LOOWAAAANDA!)I then want enough money to not care about the consequences.

9. I want to fire a really BIG gun. Not at someone, I am not that bad, just at a target.

10. I want to walk up to a random stranger, tell them how HOT they are looking and just walk away...I am married but I know how good I would feel if someone did this to me, so why not do it and make a HOT hehee strangers day?

Do any of you have Bucket Lists, is yours also strange, I would LOVE to hear what is on your lists?

Much Love M x

November 08, 2010

I love You the Way You Are.

Feeling: Miff!

A week ago I took Luke for a little outing...just him and I.
We went to I-play, it is a children's playground that has all sorts of goodies that kids love.
Luke is still a bit small for all the fun outside activities but he was quite content to sit on the play mat inside and bash all their toys.
He was also very interested in the other kids and played rather sweetly along side them. Little kids don't play with each other they play parallel to each other.

There were a few occasions where some older kids would steal his toy but he handled it all rather well and pulled his toy right back. Fortunately he is a big boy so has the strength to defend his territory. I did not have to intervene at all, I sat contently on a bean bag chair sipping my cool drink watching my baby play.

I- play costs R30.00 per child so most of the moms were quite glam. They were all dressed beautifully and were socialising with friends at the little restaurant while the I- play helpers kept an eye on their cherubs. Me, I could never allow that I do not feel comfortable with ANYONE else but my close family looking after Luke, something that I suspect will raise an eyebrow from other people but that is just me.

I had been at I - play for about 2 hours when suddenly this really pretty ohhh my goodness I WISH I looked/dressed like her...kinda mother cat walked in with her 2 little girls. Her older daughter was about 4 and the younger about 10 months. The mother plopped her gorgeous little girl down next to Luke and proceeded to boss all the I- play staff around. Get this, do this, can I have this blah blah blah. She then plonked her toned ass next to me and proceeded to tell me what a hectic morning she had had because they had already been to her older daughters school concert and still had two... not one... but two birthday parties to attend that very day.

* I can not understand people who attend multiple functions on one day, I am a say YES and commit to the 1st invite only kinda gal - I personally find it very rude to attend half a function and it grates my carrot when people cut my functions short to dash to the next.

Anyway she nattered on and on about what she was going to buy these kids and blah blah blah...I think I may have zoned out a few times. It was then that I decided that I had had enough, Luke was getting hungry so it was time to leave/escape.

As I picked up my happy boy she finally stopped talking about herself and said.. gee your son is white.

* Her daughter had dark brown hair, almost black/brown eyes and olive skin.

Yes he is, was my response, a real blue eyed boy.

She then said that I should put him in the sun so that he can get a tan.
I think I may have look at her a bit strangely at this point...a tan but my husband and I are blue eyed and have fair skins..ohhh and my son is only 11 MONTHS old!!

This did not stop her..yes, a tan... we took my baby to Sun City last weekend and she got this gorgeous tan from swimming all day.

It was at this point that I took a really good look at her little girl and yip there it was the signs of peeling on her very brown arms!

I then realised I just can not be one of "those" mothers and before I got rude I said my goodbyes and bolted out of the play center.

This is what I wanted to say to that mother:

"Are you fekking insane, have you not heard about SKIN CANCER? Are you actually advising me to tan my son? You are one stupid mother I hope you don't make your girls fit the "beautiful" mould ....lets hope your girls are never fat. I quiver to think about how you would handle that, what would you do pills?"

For once I actually kept my mouth shut because at the end of the day I love my cuddly, smooth skinned, white baby JUST THE WAY HE IS.

Much Love M xxx

October 28, 2010

It is Thursday NOT Wednesday!

Feeling: Blush - embarrassed!

This morning I posted the post Wordless Wednesday, it was a picture of Makoko scratching his Ass..giggle!

Anyway, I was looking at my diary and the date has just hit me right between the is actually THURSDAY!
Somehow I have lost a day??

When I look back at the past month the days kinnda just blur into one....could it still be porridge brain from pregnancy, is it lack of a full nights sleep, is it my meds for the depression, is it that I have too much going on, is it that I need a holiday, is it that I am on the wrong side of 25 and have only 1 year left on the right side of 30...........All of the above me thinks.

Next I will be leaving Luke avoid this I think I may buy one of those harnesses to tie him to me until my brain function returns to normal.

*At this rate I may have to use the harness until Luke goes to High School...SIGH!

Much Love M x

Wordless Wednesday.

Me.... wordless never!

We went to the Johannesburg Zoo and look at what we saw Makoko The Silver Back Gorilla in all his glory...ever have an Itch that you just can't scratch? Must be a male thing.....

Much Love M x

October 27, 2010

Stand up and WALK!

Feeling: Weary

My patience has been rather thin with Luke this week, he is a few days shy of being 11 months old and is desperately trying to walk.

This is a fantastic milestone BUT he is very frustrated that he can't get it right and is still too nervous to just go for it.

Every time I put him down to crawl or play he ends up throwing a tantrum.

I thought they were only supposed to have brat attacks from the age of 2??

I am telling you Luke literally gives those Baby Bible Book the bird and does things his way and in his time. Great for him but not great for me.

I have no clue how to handle these situation in the correct way.

I pretend that I am in control but inside I am doubting my every move.

Luke wants to pull himself up on everything but is still very unstable so he often ends up falling backwards or forwards. He screams blue murder every time I catch him just before a spill. He does not want help...I can almost hear him saying...."Mamma I do self"!

He also WANTS to PUSH everything as well ... chairs, coffee tables, foot stools, his walking ring, if it can move he will push it.

He manages to move these objects around while tottering behind them. He happily does this with me holding his T- shirt at the back in case he falls (if you see my son in funny shaped, stretched out T- shirts this is why)

The problem comes in when he hits a wall, someones leg, a big table or a step and can't move the object that he is pushing...he tugs, pulls, puff and pants and when he can't get going again he throws another wobble!

Never mind that my back is now broken from bending over at a 90 degree angle while holding his T-shirt. He will moan until the object is moved from its 'stuck" position and he can happily carry on pushing it. This can carry on for more than an hour no jokes!

If we go shopping he does not want to sit in his pram ohh no King Luke want to push the pram......can you imagine an unstable 11 month old pushing his pram in a shopping I really need to explain the problem!

As I put him in his pram he throws a brat attack. SIGH!

My angel child has been replaced by a very frustrated little boy who is trying so hard to communicate, walk and do things for himself but at this point he can't, so it is a daily battle.

Mom in one corner and Luke in another..... I have ignored the tantrums, distracted him and tried to "listen" to him as he is pretty clear about what he wants but it is hard and I often feel myself loosing it.

I am trying to breath and am looking at things from his perspective.

He is not being naughty (I don't think) but is frustrated.

This is all well and good but he can't get his own way all the time and I refuse to just give into him when I know he is going to hurt himself or someone else...So I will prevail even when strangers give me that "for the love of money and peace control you child" hairy eyeball.

Hmmmff if you can do a better job or have some handy advice by all means come and show I confess I don't know what the heck I am doing, the books tell you how to deal with a 2 year olds tantrums but 11 months......???!

Much Love M x

October 26, 2010

Problem Solved by an 11 month old baby.

Feeling: TOLD

What can I say Luke is Still not sleeping through and is 11 months old!
In all honesty he has never slept through but I look at the bright side of life and think it is because he is a genius and that his brain is overactive.... or so I tell myself - I dare anyone to tell me any different! (Right eye is twitching).

A few days ago I heard Luke's cry at around 4am. With a huge amount of effort I pulled myself out of my warm, fuzzy, happy dream and rose from my bed. This took me a good couple of minutes.
By the time I got to Luke's room he was screaming, so I scooped him up and cuddled him....shoo shoo shooo its okay Mamma's here...(physically not mentally but whose checking).

It was like someone had switched a light he immediately stopped screaming and gave me a toothy grin.
Hmmmm manipulation me thinks?

I took him to the window and said look my baba it is dark outside.. DARK and you need to sleep.

He looks at me, frowns, points to the roof and says ight, IGHT! This is his version of LIGHT!

Hmmmm I got told......(listen you silly woman put the light on and it wont be dark - problem solved)

I think it is quite a compelling argument.

Much Love M x

October 20, 2010

Have you slapped a model today?

Feeling: VIOLENT!!!

I just READ this article and really, really wish that I hadn't.
It made me want to punch Gisele in her perfectly six packed stomach.
I WILL NEVER by her damn flip flops again, no matter how nice they may be.

What an arrogant, know it all, incredibly stupid shmodel!
She may be one of the most beautiful woman in the world but she is a bit of a plank. She should seriously stick to smiling and waving.

Don't you just love woman who have been mothers for a whole few minutes but already know everything. To make matters worse they have no problem handing out advice to other terrified, nervous OMW a baby just came out of me....what do I do now mothers.

Take a read:

Supermodel Gisele Bundchen: breastfeeding should be made law
The Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen has said that mothers should be forced to breastfeed for the first six months of a baby's life.

Published: 2:42PM BST 02 Aug 2010

Gisele Bundchen believes mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months The catwalk star, who lives in the US, risked controversy by saying there should be a law preventing mothers from using formula milk.
The 30-year-old told Harper's Bazaar magazine: ''I think breastfeeding really helped (me keep my figure).

''Some people here (in the US) think they don't have to breastfeed, and I think 'Are you going to give chemical food to your child when they are so little?'
''I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.''
Her comments came after TV star
Denise Van Outen said she gave up breastfeeding her daughter Betsy after less than a month because she did not want photographers to take pictures.
''I probably should have persevered a bit longer than three weeks,'' she said last month. ''But I can't be sitting in Starbucks and breastfeeding, because they (photographers) are taking pictures.''
Bundchen, the world's highest-paid supermodel, had a natural birth at her home in Boston in December after meditating throughout her eight-hour labour.
Bundchen, who is married to
American football star Tom Brady, got up to make pancakes a day after her first child, son Benjamin Rein, was born and was modelling swimwear just six weeks later.
She said meditating every day prepared her for giving birth, telling Harper's Bazaar: ''It prepared me mentally and physically. It's called 'labour' not 'holiday' for a reason, and I knew that.
''You want to go into the most intense physical experience of your life unprepared? That doesn't make any sense to me.
''Then I was ready and I thought OK, let's get to work'. I wasn't expecting someone else to get the baby out of me.''

The one good thing that has come out of me reading the above is that I will try my best to not judge other mothers (I hang my head in shame as I to have been judgemental at times, fortunately most times I am to tired to care).

I want to try and support and encourage others not break them down. Being a mother is hard enough without dealing with OTM's. (Over The Top Mothers)

We and our children are all different and I truly believe that loving your child more than yourself will automatically make a great mother.

Breastfed fed Vs Bottle fed

Stay home moms Vs Working moms

Cloth Nappies Vs Disposable Nappies

Natural birth Vs Cesar

Drug free birth Vs Epidural

Cry it out Vs Rocking

Negotiation Vs Time out

Is this stuff really that important that it warrants such judgement?

Gee wizz it makes my mind boggle, if I look back to the day that I found out I was pregnant I think I have changed my mind about a million things a billion times.
Hahahaha nothing has gone strictly to my well thought out plans.
So for now I am going with my gut (winging it).

I will look after my family MY WAY and you look after yours YOUR WAY and we will get on just fine.

Much Love M x

October 14, 2010

I TOLD You So!

Feeling: Like the vastly Superior Partner.

I adore my hubby but at times I could slowly strangle him with a big grin on my face. Today is a perfect example of this. MEN strange creatures!

We have a maid (Supa Cleaner) that comes once a week to do a good house clean and all my ironing! She comes every Thursday and to be honest it is the highlight of my week.
I think I may actually love her, I mean really, really love her! There is nothing better then walking into a sparkly, clean shiny house after work knowing that I did not have to lift a finger to get it that way!

Any hoo.....I leave our house quite early every morning to drop off Luke and Shnookz at Nana's house. Supa Cleaner can't get to our house before I leave... public transport in Johannesburg is a running joke.

So I leave the front door security gate unlocked and front door key hidden for her, so that she can let herself in. Not exactly the safest plan but I do what I have to do :-)

Chris always leaves the house after me so EVERY Thursday I gently remind him not to lock the security gate so that my beloved maid can get into the house to do all the jobs that I detest!

Chris always responds to my "nagging" with ..... A SIGH..." I KNOW MANDS you DO NOT have to ALWAYS remind me"! He says this through gritted teeth...get the picture?

Today was no different, on my way out the door I gave Chris a quick peck and whispered "Don't forget the maid is coming, leave the sercuity gate op.....! He gives me this irritated grunt and says "I KNOW, I know"!!!!
So with a raised eyebrow, I leave it at that.

I get to my office and the phone rings...guess who is on the phone...come on just guess!
MY MAID..."Hello Mandy,the gate she is locked"!

Can you Feking believe it... after all my gently reminding and Chris's irritated I knows....he locked the gate!!

I am now livid and call him...."Chris do you know that the maid is standing outside our house because somehow the gate that you left open locked itself "....sarcastic I know but geeewizzz DUDE!

I I I I Diiiiid leave it oooopppp....he starts to argue rather hesitantly....hmm are you sure I ask?
"No" is his reply! I could almost hear him hang his head in shame!

So he had to leave work to go all the way to our house to let my poor rain soaked maid in...a 20 min drive both ways....A lesson learnt lets hope so.

I can't wait to go home tonight and say.....repeat after me...I will always listen to my wife and smile while doing it!!

Much Love M x

October 11, 2010

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Mamma Scorned

Feeling: AGED!

I have not posted this post for a few weeks as I have had to edit it quite a a few times.
The reason for my many, many edits is because I was totally and utterly over emotional when ever I thought about the below experience.

Even now as as I think about it now I get a knot in my stomach and feel all weepy and emotional but now that I am a tad calmer I am ready to let it all out there. I am a lady in training so I have taken out all the swear words, name calling and sarcasm..okay not really but I have toned it down just a little.

King Luke was ill a few weeks ago.....not sniffy he has a cold ill but he was really, really ill.

It all started on a Friday morning at 1am to be exact (see I am trying to be factual and not emotional) - I heard this strange sound coming from his room - yes I have supersonic mothers hearing and was almost immediately wide awake. I can do this if I hear any unusual noises coming from his room. Moms can do this, it is what makes us fabulous.

Anyway I shoot up after hearing a funny gurgle, spluttered cry - fully awake now I dash to his room - note Chris is still snoring away.

As I rush over to Luke's cot I discover that Luke is vomiting and vomiting. I call Chris who helps me clean the ENTIRE cot and I give Luke a quick bath.

He feels all hot and feverish but still manages to give me a toothy grin after each vomit session - bless his heart.
I make a make shift bed for him next to me in our room so that I can monitor him for the rest of the night. He continues to vomit every hour until 6am.

Me being a sort it out and make it better kinda Mamma had him at our doctor by 8am. I was there as their doors opened. The Doc did all that Doc stuff that Docs do and declared that Luke had Gastro. Take this for temp and that for pain and keep him hydrated.

Great simple, I can do that!

I collect all the prescribed medication and even bought him Cream Soda - I am an anti -fizzy drinks Mamma - BUT at this point I would have given him anything, all I wanted was for him to keep something down.

Fast forward, 15pm Friday afternoon Luke is STILL vomiting, I am now getting panicky. I take him back to the Doc who decides to give him an injection - not at all pleasant, these injections burn, Luke screams blue murder. The injection is supposed to stop the vomiting.....

We get home and Luke is exhausted but still puts up a good fight not to go to sleep. I take this as a positive sign that he still has fight in him. Friday night he is restless and does not sleep well at all but I feel a little bit more optimistic because he does not vomit all night.

Saturday morning.... more vomiting and now diarrhea starts. I don't know what more do....I am getting more and more worried. Luke is very irritable, has a temp, will not eat or drink anything and is becoming lethargic.
I take him back to the Doc.....3rd time, the Doc now decides to admit Luke to hospital for a drip, he is apparently dehydrating. (No sh1t Shurlock)

We arrive at the hospital after my Doc gets hold of the Pead. He gives us a referral letter and tells us to go to Ward 1.
The nurse on duty Mrs. Meany tells me that she does not know who we are or that we were coming. She is very rude and seems annoyed that we have disturbed her Saturday.
She at no point gives me her name or title. She does not greet us, she does not ask my sons name either. All she does is tell us to wait in the isolation room, which we do. Not a good start but I am still relatively calm..just a bit annoyed.

In passing she tell my husband that my son would need a drip and that I could not stay the night with him. It was said in passing. I was so stressed by this stage that I did not comprehend what she was saying but I told my husband that that is the one rule I would under NO circumstance obey. She had very poor communication skills, lacked compassion and did not show an ounce of concern for my son. I instantly disliked her and my first thought was how the heck is she a Pead Nurse?

Without discussing anything or getting me to sign the ward rules she takes my son away to put the drip in. We were not asked whether we would like to be with our son while the procedure was performed, I feel totally unsure and reluctantly let her take Luke away.
She did explain what she was doing to my son or why we could not go with him.

Needless to say I had to listen to Luke scream and scream for more that 15 minutes. I was VERY distressed and started pacing, another nurse Mrs. Dumbass who was standing around staring at me, turns around and tells me to stop worrying, they are are not killing him...the wrong thing to say at a time like that! Insensitive much, I felt the urge to B^%$ slap her.
She also said I could go into the procedure room to see what they are doing to my son.

I walk into the room and was rudely told that I was supossed not to be there- this was after I was told that I could go and see what they were doing by Mrs. Dumbass.
I asked Mrs. Meany and the other nurse Mrs. fugly if they are nearly done and why it was all taking so long?
They do NOT answer me or even look up.......! What the.....?
They had my baby on his back, he was hysterical, the tears were pouring down his little cheeks. I thought I was going to explode with rage.

My sons drip was finally inserted, they did not even try and soothe him.....they had to try both his hands to get the drip in and he had red marks on his arms where they were holding him down!

The nurse Mrs. Fugly that assisted Mrs Meany during the procedure walked up to me and said that she DID answer me when I asked if they were nearly done. She told me said hmmmmm!
Okay now my blood pressure has just gone through the roof hmmmmm is not an answer.

Can you say inappropriate, disrespectful and just plain rude?
From the time we arrived to the time we left this nurse never once greeted me and when she came into the ward to change my sons bedding she would just shove passed me. I told her straight out, You are not allowed to touch Luke again!

From the moment I walked into Ward 1 I got a very bad gut feel and did not trust these woman with my son. For the first time in my life I went totally, completely, fully with my gut. There was no way that I was leaving my son for the night with these people.

Nurse Meany had a HUGE argument with me when I refused to sign the rules form which was only given to me AFTER they had put in my sons drip. It said "No parent will be allowed under no circumstance to stay with their child at night". I am sorry but WTF???????

I told them I would not sign the form or leave my son for the night and if they tried to make me I would sit on the floor outside his room. My son is a baby he can't communicate to tell me what has happened to him during the night so I refuse to leave him with people that I don't know or trust ohhh and by the way my bill will pay your salaries so I think it is fair to say what I want goes....By the way our 1 night stay in that hole was R4000.00!

I was then threatened and was told that if that was the case I would have to sign a refusal of treatment form. Basically it was a form stating that I was refusing treatment for my son - it is a form that is used to make their lives easier so that if anything had happened to my son from that point on their asses would have been covered.
I said that I would not sign it but would take my son to another hospital where I could stay with him all night. I told them I was taking him with the drip in his arm as I was not having that procedure done again.

Mrs. Many then said that I could not leave with the drip in his arm – A BLATANT LIE – when we left on Sunday afternoon he came home with the drip in his arm! I never took my son back on Monday to have the drip taken out. I took him to another clinic as I was by this stage totally uncomfortable with that hospital and would never go back there ever again. We only got a phone call on Tuesday asking why we had not come back to have his drip taken out!

She also told me that she would not refer me to another hospital and that I would have to take my son to the emergency rooms and wait in a Que, another lie. I did not need her referral I already had a referral letter from my doctor.
As you can now imagine I had now had it with these woman and told them that I was not BUDGING.
Eventually the manager of the hospital was called I explained the situation to her and she said that I could stay in the reception foya on these horrible plastic chairs for the night, which I did. The nurses had strict instruction from me that when my son woke up they were not to touch him, they had to call me on my cell and I would cuddle him and put him back down.

My son woke up twice during the night, screaming. I was called, I calmed him down and got him back to sleep quickly, quietly and with no further trauma to him.
It amazes that in this day and age that they do not let mothers stay with their children, it is very old system, what are they trying to hide?
I heard babies crying for their parents all night, it was as far as I am concerned very cruel.

The “reason” that were given to me as to why I could not stay the night was ridiculous. Basically they said that the parents disturb the children - I think I actually laughed when they said this. No dear nurse you don't want the parents there to monitor you....I watched you lot all night eating, laughing, bumping and bashing things, taking countless smoke breaks. I heard the children crying for their parents.....!

My son only sleeps on his tummy, he does not like a dummy, he has a security blanket that he rubs or sucks when he sleeps, he will not just lie down and go to sleep he needs to be rocked.....the nurses did not at ANY point ask any of these important questions regarding my child.

He is a little person who has his very own likes and dislikes and should be treated as such. Instead he was treated as the child of the over emotional mother and was literally a number!

I was even told that I was insane and that they could not believe that I was actually sleeping in the foya. I told them that THOSE parents that I watch leave their crying babies were insane and that protecting my child was my only concern so they can think whatever they want about me.

Again I was not introduced to any of the night nurses ...would you drop your child off at creche not knowing who is looking after your child? It is crazy that no one takes the time to tell you who is looking after your child and what their titles are?
I also noticed that anyone and everyone was just allowed into the ward there was NO security what so ever during the day or night. What if someone walked in and just took my baby?

I could go on and took 7 days of vomiting, diarrhea, extreme nappy rash but my son got better. I think my nerves will take a bit longer to heal.

I don't want my experience to scare you but if you are a like me unwilling to compromise with anyone when it come to what if right for your baby then before admitting your child to a hospital investigate their rules and regulations, go with your gut and protect your child.

At the end of the day no -one will love, protect or look after your child like you do.

Much Love M x

Much Love M

September 27, 2010

Where do I come from?

Feeling: Sentimental

I just read a friends blog - My Spirited Baby.
It is one of my favourite blogs!
She wrote a post asking if her two sons look like her at all and whether her boys look similar or different to each other.
She is in a cross cultural marriage, so her hubby's darker genes are stronger than her very fair genes but I can definitely see a lot of her in her beautiful caramel boys :-)
I hope she doesn't mind but I wanted to ask the same thing about my son.
My reason for asking this question is a bit entire family are dark...they ALL have DARK brown hair and DARK brown eyes! I on the other hand have blond hair and blue eyes. So as you can well imagine I have been asked my entire life "where do you came from?"
It used to really make me terribly upset when I was younger because all I wanted to be was the same as them. I also got your brothers are SOOO good looking and dark where do you fit in......OUCH, not the best thing to hear when you are a awkward, fugly teenager!
I have however overcome the feeling of being "left" out by the way I look and I now celebrate the fact that I am different from the rest of my family (mom and dad included). It is still a topic that is ALWAYS discussed when people met the entire clan for the first time but I just laugh and smile because it makes people "wonder" where I came from hehee! (SCANDALOUS)

The fact that people tell me that my son and I look the same is something that I find really exciting and new. I get a thrill whenever people say "wow Mands he looks just like you!" It is something that I have never experienced and I must admit I just can't hear it enough.

What do you think?

The baby on the top is me (yes I was that cute ;-) and below it Luke.

Much Love M x

September 23, 2010

What Lies beneath the clothing?

Feeling: Honest

Every week I go onto a website called the Shape of a Mother (

It is a website where normal woman post pictures of their bodies before, during and after pregnancy - NO PHOTOSHOPPING allowed. It shows only the real deal!
Be warned most of the woman are naked, so don't go on it at work :-)

This website displays pictures and stories that are sent in by normal mothers. They don't look like Posh Spice or Heidi Klum after giving birth that is for sure. It very cleverly dispels the new mother size 0 myth in one foul swoop and that is why I like it.
Come to think of it, I actually don't know anyone who looks like these celebrities after giving birth you?

The mothers who post their very personal pictures and stories have a bit of extra junk in the trunks, stretch marks, loose skin, saggy boobs, scars and poor body image.
They are brave, they show the world what they are hiding under their clothes after having children!
The good, the bad and the ugly side of post partum.

The Shape of a Mother gives normal woman a chance to express how hectic pregnancy is and that no matter who you are it changes not only your life but body as well.
It also shows that yes we love our kids but boy growing them alters ones body sometimes a little but most times a lot.
We don't have to be happy or accepting about the changes - battle scars, badges of honor but we are thankfully not alone!
Often mothers feel guilty that they are not happy with their post partum bodies, we love our kids but hate our bodies - SOUND familiar.

My personal opinion is that a lot of the post partum depression that new mothers suffer from is caused by unrealistic expectations which makes us feel sh1tty about ourselves and our less than perfect bodies after birth! Especially since the media splashes/ bombards us with images of celebrities practically walking out of the hospital after giving birth looking like they walked off the cover of Vogue!

I sure as hell didn't look or feel glamorous at all, squishy tummy, milk filled boobs, Caesar scar, granny panties holding in all my bit and bobs, ohhh and ping ponging hormones...YIP one yummy mummy right here..snigger!

When I feel pregnant I decided that I would not pick up a huge amount of weight. Trust me it was hard, I have never felt so hungry in all my life. Food became my first love. I had to control myself all the time. I made sure that I did not go overboard for the sake of going overboard (sadly it is a myth that we are eating for two). I monitored my own weight gain and made sure that I chose only healthy options. It was tough especially when those cravings attacked....but most times I was able to fend them off! Not every time but most times :-)

I gymed 3-4 times a week right up to the day before I gave birth (it is a myth that you can not do physical activity while pregnant). I did cardio, weight training and pilates but please note: I had a VERY easy pregnancy, I could do this without endangering myself or my son. It is not the same for every woman. High risk pregnancies or woman who get hectic morning sickness ect may not be capable or allowed to follow my rigorous routine. Ask your gyno first!

The Wednesday before I had my son, he was born on Sunday I had picked up 9.4kg's. When I left the hospital I had 3 kg's to loose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. People now tell me that I look the same as I did before but I know the truth about what lies beneath!

The real deal is - I did not get away from the post pregnancy body even though I tried my damnedest. I am however pleased that I did the best I could.
Things have however changed and I am not happy about it.

My 36 week belly.

Here are my post birth issues:

1. I have a hernia in my belly button - it used to be an inny and it is now an outty! It pops out as soon as I eat or do stomach exercises. It look and feels really yukky.

2. I have a Caesar scar.

3.My waist is defiantly wider.

4. I have a bit of loose skin on my tummy and my tummy is no longer flat, it is kinnda rounded!

5. My boobs are gone - I had a boob job a few years back (A cup to D cup). They are now a small C and are only implants. If I had not had the implants I would have had nothing left and would now look like a dude.Thank goodness for them!

I would love too hear from you moms.
How has your body changed after pregnancy?
How do you feel about your battle scars/ badges of honor?

I do hope that this post will encourage anyone who is going to have a baby - you can keep the weight gain under control.

I hope that anyone who is feeling horrible, sad or just plain grossed out by their post partum body will realise that you are not alone...I am standing here right beside you.
I have my good and bad days as well!

Know one gets away scott free, I hope that by sharing how my body is less than perfect that you will feel a bit better about yours

Much Love M x

September 22, 2010

Waiting For Bribery and Corruption.

Feeling : Even my toes are tired!

Last night was a disaster. I started sleep training with King Luke - snigger!
Lets just say after last night I have suspended sleep training indefinitely due to the lack of interest presented by both parties. Ohh and did I mention this mother is a woes?

Even our doggy Shnookz was distressed by the entire ordeal. She also refused to sleep in her bed last night. So I had one unhappy baby and one whiny, whingey doggy both wanting my attention. Needless to say who needs to buy tickets to the zoo, just come and visit the Hall residence, it is free entertainment! I would hate to know what the neighbours think!

I got home and did all the bedtime routine stuff (as per the "Baby Bible") and Supper Nanny (Side note: I love her!) When my son started to rub his gorgeous blue now red rimmed eyes, it was time for bed, 19:00.
I took him to his cot, lay him down, kissed his little head and whispered good night my darling. I left his night light on and tiptoed out the room. It all seemed really sweet and fairytale like up to this point!

As I gently closed his bedroom door, he arched his back, kicked off his blankets and let loose. He began to ScReAm and ScReaM and SCReam.......... and so this continued for 30 minutes. (Side note: My hubby and I are noisy umm loud people so my son has a VERY big voice as well).

Wanting to make sure that he was okay I sneaked my head around the door only to discover he had vomited ALL OVER - the smell hit me right between the eyes. Curdled milk and night time porridge! He seems to be like a snake...when threatened he regurgitates his food..Good times!
His sheet was covered, the mattress was covered, the blanket was covered, his baby grow was covered, his teddy was covered and yip KL was covered.

So there I was stripping his cot thinking SCREW this! While trying to get his pukey baby grow off him without getting any on me. All I kept saying was I hate you Baby Bible and Supper STUPID Nanny...wanna see YOU try this!
I think my right eye was twitching and I had a pain in my jaw from clenching my teeth!

I then put my sobbing, red, splotching baby in the bath. After his second bath of the evening I wrapped him in a towel and gave his a weary cuddle,by this stage he was FULLY awake and all smiley. King Luke 1 - Mommy ohh who is keeping score anyway?
He kept giving me this naughty grin (he screws his nose and shows me his teeth) I tried not to smile but I did!

I have realised I am not the strong willed, totally in control.... my child will never do that kind of mother that I thought I would be! One night of sleep training (Okay mommy training - Luke is gifted) and I give up!

I am now waiting in anticipation for the day when I can bribe my child to do what I want him to do -PARENT OF THE YEAR right here me thinks!

Much Love M x

September 15, 2010

Don't poke me...I don't like it!

Feeling: Proud.

My son is just over 9 months old so it is vaccination time again. Today I had to bundled him into the car for his measles vaccination. SIGH!

I usually dislike (hate) taking him for these is true what they say "this is going to hurt me more than you my child"!
My heart literally aches as I watch my innocent, unsuspecting, happy, content baby gurgling away while the nurse prepares the injections. He has no clue what is going to happen and the worst part is that I can't explain to him that mamma has to allow this to happen as it is for his own good!

He gets the injections in his thighs...I say injections because there is always more than one. As the needle goes into his chubby thigh, he gets a surprised expression on his face and then the screaming and tears start. It is a dreadful sound, it is not that tantrum scream it is an OUCHIE cry! All mommies will know the difference, an ouchie cry is heartbreaking to see and hear.

Anyway today I walked into the clinic with my happy boy who flirted and smiled with everyone. He was being his usual charming self and was handing out big toothy grins to anyone watching him.

The clinic sister picked him up for a love and cuddle before doing the yukky deed...luring him into a false sense of security! NAH not really.... she was actually a really lovely lady who you could see adores babies.

I held Luke while the first needle went into his my astonishment he did not even blink....second needle goes in... he yelps turns around and gives the nurse a filthy look and then swipes her hand away.... She smiles and walks to the other side of the room to her desk to fill out his booklet. He now totally aware of what she is all about twists his entire body around so that he can follow her every move.

Until the time we left her rooms he would not be distracted and would not take his eyes off her. By this stage were were all hysterical with laughter.

He was keeping his beady eyes on this wiley woman! Once bitten twice shy King Luke?

Much Love M

August 27, 2010

I have learned...sometimes the hard way!

Feeling: Like Yoda!

A few things I have noticed along the way:

1. Never, EVER highlight or bleach your own hair. You will regret it!

2. One person with passion is better that 10 people merely interested.

3. Always smell nice, there is nothing better.

4. We will ALL get old and ugly so try and develop a personality and a brain, they will be important in the old age home ;-)

5. One mans junk is another mans treasure. Don't hoard and collect clutter - give it away.

6. Stand up for those who are weaker than you, are bullied or picked on. Never let a bully get away with it. It won't make you popular but do what is right... ALWAYS!

7. Every pregnancy is different, your stomach will always be too big or too small to someone. Don't take it personally.

8. People will disappoint you, expect it and if not you will be pleasantly surprised.

9. Prayer is powerful, when in trouble we all pray..come on admit it!

10. Don't complicate your baby: they need love, food and to be held, simple.

11. Show emotion that is why we have facial muscles and tear ducts - use them.

12. Laugh at yourself, it is the best therapy.

13. Say please and thank you - manners maketh the man.

14. Don't wear pants that are too tight for you, get over the size on the label and wear pants that fit - a muffin top is NOT cool!

15. Nipples showing through a T-shirt is slutty...full stop!

16. Exercise: you will eventually enjoy it, getting started is the hard part.

17. Honor and respect your mother and father.What you do to them your kids will do to you EEECK.

18.Play with your children, get down on your hands and knees and be silly, they will love you for it.

19. Don't let TV rule your life.

20. Breakfast is definitely the most important meal of the day. Break the fast!

21. Life is hard for everyone, even those you envy because they seem to have everything have problems. They just hide them behind more stuff!

22. Stand for something...a person without an opinion or voice is like a cake with no baking powder.....FLAT.

23. If a company wants loyalty get a dog!

24. Money is important no matter what people tell you...we all need and want it but it really can not buy love, health or happiness.

25. Lust is fleeting, love is forever but still requires a lot of work don't be mistaken. I love you but don't like you right now.....The truth behind every marriage!

26. Don't sleep around you will loose a bit of yourself every time and will take a bit of that person with you whether you want it or not.

27. Men are turned on by sight so NO it is NOT okay for them to go to strip clubs, read dirt mags or watch pornos even for a bachelors party- the images will stick...have standards ladies!

28. The only thing that just happens in life is SH1T..big stinking piles of it. Everything else takes a lot of hard work and planning!

29. Happiness is a choice.

30.Just because you deserve something does not mean you will get it.

31. Let your yes be your yes and your No your No.

32. Don't neglect your loved ones whilst making your money - who wants a tombstone that says: He/She was a good worker.

33. Teach your children to be kind and to respect animals.

34. Don't EVER trust a person who is mean or nasty to children or animals.

35. Never sulk, it is a yukky trait.

36. When in doubt DON'T.

37. Let your children be children they will be grown ups for a very long time.

38. People around you, even strangers are hurting right now. Take a moment and just listen, study those around you. You can hear it in the way they talk, how they look, how they hold themselves and in their eyes. Be sensitive.

39. The world does not revolve around you!

40. Without God there is no hope. Without God there is no life after sad that people think that this life is all there is! Without God what actually is the point? For God so LOVED the world that he gave his only son that who so ever believes in him shall not perish but WILL have eternal life!

Much Love M

August 19, 2010

Leading A Horse To Water But Can't Make It Drink.

Feeling: Irritated

Okay so I am a fix it kinnda person.

If you have a problem, talk about it, feel sorry for yourself for a few days and then it is time to fix it....I am sorry to say this but it takes a lot for me to actually really and truly sympathise with someone who as far as I can see can fix the problem but seems totally unwilling to do so. I can only say aggg shame so many times!

For example if you have a headache take a tablet lie down for an hour and get over it. These people that hold their heads and moan for hours just grate me.

I think my lack of sympathy comes from the fact that I have friends, family and acquaintances who have real problems but they are making the most out of terrible situations. These people inspire me and make me thankful for what I have.

As you may have guest someone really grated my carrot this morning!!

There is this obese woman at our gym lets call her Shamu. Before anyone who is caring a bit of extra junk in their trunk bites my head off...... I really don't care is someone is a bit squishy but come on you can be heavy, healthy and happy!

Shamu is a miserable person who has no reason to me I have known her my entire life.

She is also one of those people who is "allergic" to everything even avocado...BUT put a plate of fried,sugary, FATTY treats in front of her and she is fine........SURLY if you have allergies you need to eat well and be careful what you put in your mouth?
She claims she is allergic to lactose, nuts, avo BLAH BLAH BLAH...she also tell us ALL THE TIME about her sore knees, head, arms, wrists, knots in her back.......- NOTE TO SELF never ask her how she is ever again!

This morning while listening to her whinge this voice in my head kept saying..."well you are only about 5 Foot 2 and weight over 100Kg's, I am no doctor but there lies the problem.. so FIX IT!!!"

She pretends to gym...yes pretends, she kinnda hangs from the equipment and works her voice box..she never shuts up! Even on the cardio boards she kinnda flails around like a beached whale it seriously irritates me. If you are going to do something do it properly! She does not stick with anything and waddles into gym once maybe twice a week just for a moan it seems.

We all get the pleasure of watching her mess around while listening to her moan and give useless advice on supplements. Not only is Shamu allergic to everything but takes every supplement under the sun...carrot, beetroot supplements...what the.....why not just eat the healthy food?

Today I was quite snappy with her, I just could not help myself. She started carrying on at me about supplements! I calmly looked at her and said...Shamu why do you take all these pills when you eat unhealthy is like ordering a waffle with ice-cream and chocolate sauce and then washing it all down with a diet coke...seriously what is the point?

Ahh haaaa I thought I had her and would shut her up.

She stops talking, blinks, takes a breath and says....

I never drink diet coke it is full of chemicals!

(Excuse me.... I need a bathroom break to pull my hair out!)

Much Love M

August 06, 2010

The things we do to our Kids!

Feeling: Stupid

I almost traumatised my poor child for the rest of his life before he was even born.

I know that this sounds rather dramatic but think back to your school days. Now think about that 1 poor kid who got teased from grade 1 to matric! 12 years of his sorry little life and all because his parents decided to be creative and give him an unusual name.

At 16 weeks we found out that my Chilli Bean (Luke's name for the 1st 16 weeks of my pregnancy because I ate my weight in chillis and then some) was a boy!

I was thrilled and had the baby naming book at home all ready for name choosing!

This book was pretty "modern" it had names in it like 50 Cents, Snoop Doggy and Apple ..... !

Anyway I had always loved the name Luke and had always thought that if I had a son that would be his name but now it sounded boring. In my pregnant state I decided to try and find something a little bit different, something unusual...why, why do we do this to our kids?

After going through what felt like a million names I came across the name ASH .... I must confess that I still quite like it. Anyway that night over a family dinner I decided to test the name on my toughest, most honest critics, my 2 brothers.

I looked at them and said "Hey guys what do you think of the name ASH HALL!?????"

Both my brothers immediately stopped eating and looked at me in horror. They asked me if I was serious! Now feeling a bit uncertain by the looks, I quietly replied "yes".

They then asked me to imagine the following scenario:

Luke wins an award at school or gets called to the office:
The principle says,"Will Mr. A. Hall, A Hall please come to x, y or z!"

I froze played the scenario in my head and realised I had nearly named my child Asshole!

I mean really now Mands why not just get it over with and call your kid POOPHALL!

Much Love M

August 05, 2010

Umm there is an Elephant in your pants?

Feeling: relieved.

When Luke was a few weeks old he would scream and scream like he was in pain for what seemed like no apparent reason. I was very worried about this but after some investigation, google, talking to docs/nurses and other mothers...the word COLIC seemed to be the answer............!

In all honestly, I do believe that all babies have some form of colic because of their under developed digestive systems but I think that a lot of mothers loosely just throw around the term. My child screams so it must therefore be colic!
The word colic gives a solution to a very tough problem, it gives us mothers a reason as to why we can not get this baby to stop screaming. It also evokes community support from fellow mommies. They will stand together and sympathise with the frayed, emotional, hollow eyed mother. It is not you MAMMA X, Y and is COLIC!

It is easier to arrive at a social function looking like something that you pulled out of a clogged drain pipe and say Colic with conviction.... than to admit that you are not well organised, don't know what the hell you are doing, did not burp your baby properly because you got bored, feel hormonal, got vomited on, peed on and pooped on and yes your darling bundle of cuteness is already flexing its little muscles and may "gasp" be a strong willed child. You do not yet know your babies lingo and he is crying in order to communicate with you but....... NAH must be colic!

Now the reason that I say this is when you do actually encounter a friend whose baby has real text book colic you will know it - trust me.
I have 2 mommy friends whose babies suffered with the real deal. It is not an urban, desperate mothers legend but a rather an oh my goodness I am so relieved my cherub is not like x, y and you back away from the other mother slowly holding you breath, hoping with all your soul that her screaming baby is not contagious! It is real and is very tough for all involved!

I was convinced for the first 8 weeks of Luke's life that he was starting with colic. I mean come on I did everything that the baby booked had told me to do and it just made my cherub angrier and purple! I was totally wrong...

After his 8 week inoculation I arrived home pretty much traumatised by the size of the needles that they shoved into my tiny babies thighs. When he and I finally calmed down from the entire ordeal I decided to give him a soothing bath. As I removed his nappy I say a huge bulge on the side of his winkie, his one testicle was also twice the size of its friend.

OMW MOM I yelled there is something wrong with Luke!! When I touched the protrusion it slipped back in and out again. I raced Luke to the Doc who had a good feel and look around, stood up and with certainty said uuuuuuuu it is a hernia....Light bulb moment my child did not have Colic he had a Inguinal Hernia!

Ah Inguinal Hernia or a groin hernia, is a protrusion (lump) of the small intestine or fatty tissue into the groin through a weakness or tear in the abdominal wall.

Frequently hernias produce no symptoms. However, some people may experience the following symptoms:

A lump or swelling in the groin
A sudden pain into the scrotum
Abdominal discomfort
A heavy feeling in the groin
Pain in the groin while standing or moving

Hernias that are painful and can't be pushed back (incarcenated or strangulated hernia) are treated surgically. There are two surgically procedures available for the treatment of inguinal hernias - open surgery or laparoscopy.
Open surgery is the most common type of treatment, accounting for 95 percent of inguinal repairs. This procedure is done under local
anesthesia and requires a 4- to 6-inch incision in the groin. The doctor then pushes the herniated tissue back into place and sutures the opening shut. Sometimes a small piece of synthetic material is placed over the gap to serve as a scaffolding on which scar tissue will grow. Full recovery time takes 4 to 6 weeks.

So yes the next day we saw the Pediatric Surgeon. Luke was booked to have his surgery the following was all very sudden and I must admit I drizzled for days.

Luke's surgery was pretty straight forward but to my uttermost horror I was not allowed to feed him from 10am to 15:00pm on the day of his op, this meant he missed 3 feeds. I prayed about it and honestly a little miracle happened: my son who LOVES his milk and would scream blue murder until fed every 2 hours did not make 1 sound and no medication or calming drugs were needed. He was as good as gold, it was truely a little miracle, I am convinced that God had his hand on Luke!! Thank you Lord what would I do without you.

Luke went into theater at around 15:00pm Chris had to walk him into the theater and sat with him until he fell asleep, I just could not do it. We waited for 45min while they fixed his hernia, we gave the surgeon permission to check both sides of Luke's abdomen and thankfully we did because the little mite had 2 hernias one on each side of his groin. He came around from the anesthetic fighting and within 2 days was a happy, changed baby. He no longer screamed from pain!
Not surprising he had been trying to tell us about his hernias all along, my clever boy!

The only reminder of his surgery are 2 little lines about 2cm's long on each side of his groin...almost like mammas Caesar scar just neater.

I was changing his nappy a few weeks after his surgery and my youngest brother walked into the room, he was taking a good look at King Luke's scars and said " HEY Mands come and see this, look it is a blinking elephant."

Confused I looked down at Luke's winkie and with the 2 slits just above it I could clearly see a blinking elephant!

Much Love M

My 1st husband (may he RIP) asked me the same question!

Feeling: irritable

My husband, I do love him, really I do BUT yesterday morning I did not!

I wanted to clap the condescending smile right off his handsome face. I wanted to scratch the sarcastic sparkle out off his blue eyes, I wanted to shove my foot right between his..... "breath". YES I felt violent!

I have not been feeling great for the past week. I contracted pink eye, this required antibiotics. Due to this my immune system has since crashed and I now have flu and am on a second course of antibiotics.

Luke has not slept more that 2 hours at a time for the past 10 days, 45 min and 2 sec .....okay not really but it does feel this way!
The poor mite has also not been well and is teething (lovely combination- as previously discussed Luke is a GO big or GO home kinda kid)- we are a sorry twosome!
If Luke does not sleep, Mamma does not sleep....ENOUGH said!

Yesterday morning I was a bit slow (understandably????), I got up slowly, painfully, I changed Luke's nappy slowly, I made breakfast/lunches slowly, I got dressed slowly .......get the picture?

The result being that I was running a bit late.

Chris trying to be helpful was rushing me and clock watching. Every 15 minutes he would tell me what the time was, highlighting the fact that I was behind schedule (No sh1t Shurlock).
After the 10 time that he had told me to hurry up and had cheerfully called out the exact time, I CrAcKeD and spewed forth a few well chosen pretty descriptive words about the entire situation!

Chris stopped looked at me and said:


My eye started to twitch!


I unceremoniously and with as much force as I could muster SLAMMED the front door in his face.

Why do men do this....If we are not MRS. FREKEN RAY OF GLAMOROUS SUNSHINE then it must be hormones!

Much Love M

August 04, 2010

Pineapple wins!

Feeling: Strong willed!

Think about this for a second.... IT GOES IN A CUCUMBER AND COMES OUT A PINEAPPLE!

What the heck is this mad mamma talking about you may ask?


This 1 simple line will explain why I controversially chose to have an elective Caesar. Please don't get offended if you had a natural birth, I think you are super human and applaud you -really I do!

When I first found out I was pregnant I was adamant that I was going to have a natural birth. I was often asked by people even complete strangers what I was planning to do when the time came. Funny how when you are pregnant your nether regions become a communal topic. I would often then clarify and say "a natural birth with drugs of course".

Many woman would then give me a relived, knowing smile, pat my belly and say good for you! ahhhh I was a part of the push a pineapple out of your v-jay club. Yipeeee go me! They like me, they really like me!

When I hit the 8 month mark in my pregnancy I began to actually think, visualise the birthing process.OMW it freaked me out...I have to push a 3 plus Kg person out of where? The reality of the entire situation set in and I started to talk to moms who had had Caesars. Just wanted to keep my options open!

These are the questions that I usually asked:

1. Why did you choose to have a Caesar?

2. Do you regret it?

3. How does it feel afterwards, are you able to skip,run, hop, jump?

4. Would you do it again?

5. What is your scar like?

Almost 99% of the mothers that I spoke to were happy with their elective Caesars and said they would do it all over again. They were honest and did tell me the pros and cons. There were a lot more pros then cons in my opinion.
There seemed to be very little drama involved and it could all be planned. A big tick right there in my am I going to have a Caesar box.

I then decided to watch YOU TUBE for some natural birth videos, ummm DRUG FREE!

I found a lot of clips and sneakily watched them at work with the sound off.

It all look rather romantic, the labouring mother surrounded by a support group, urging her to push as she concentrates, closes her eyes and pushes. Camera zooms down to her nether regions and you see the baby's head crown, shoulders and body slip out! The doctor/midwife/hubby then passes the bundle of joy to the flushed, glowing mother who is now sobbing as she kisses her new baby - pretty powerful stuff!

Then I made a huge mistake, I put on the sound..........!
OMW the women sound like they are dying... actually no not dying.... being tortured slowly. They scream, they yell, they swear, they grunt, they groan, they moan and cry! They sound like animals!
All the while exposing there nether regions to bored doctors/nurses who been there delivered that!
The glow that I could see on the exhausted new mothers face is actually sweat from the immense pain!
I then hear a doctor tell a woman that he is going to cut her v-jay or she will TEAR....WHAT your v - jay can tear?????.....I close my legs just thinking about it!

That was the final straw.... I called my Doc and asked him to book me a Caesar!
My google investigation was over Case Closed!
Viva caesar v-jay my choice!

Much Love M

August 03, 2010

Smug Married People.

Feeling: Happy

Last night an old girl friend (I have known her all my life) came over to drop off an awesome gift for Luke...A Springbok jersey that says "Future Springbok" awwwww too cute. Thanks N!
My hubby was really good at Rugby in his youth. He even made the under 21A Rau team and the junior Lions squad - forgive my bragging :-). Maybe Luke will be a chip off the old BOK?

I have not seen this friend for a few weeks, you know how it goes when you are a working mother?Your routine, social appointments.... okay in all honestly life revolves around baby, his moods, illnesses, teething and sleeping patterns.

I find it especially hard to get together with friends who are single or do not have kids. I am not saying this as a smug married person (a line stolen from Bridgette Jone's Diary - if you have not read it, please do) but I am saying this as a now socially withdrawn mother. I used to catch up with friends whenever I had inclination to do so but now social visits need to be a well planned and carefully executed with military precision!

We need to meet somewhere where kids are welcomed otherwise I sit the whole time getting hairy eyeballs from the neighbouring tables as my son throws the spoon on the floor for the millionth time, bangs the table, tries to grab my boiling coffee, cries after I take any dangerous objects away from him or flicks his food on me,the floor and at times on those not further than 2 metres away from us! I have given up cleaning toys or dummies that he has thrown on the floor. I now apply the 10 second rule or pop it into my mouth!

We need to meet at a time that is not slap bang in the middle of his naps - not easy when his nap times can vary anywhere from half and hour to a full hour on any given day. My kid is just not a routine shmootine kinnda guy! I am NEVER late, I have a type A personality so this has been a big adjustment.

Then it is the physical battle of packing his bags, bottles, food, pram and toys while having him stuck on my hip because he won't let me put him down, he is going through the clingy stage (I must admit I love it, makes me feel important) but he weighs 10Kgs!
Packing and unpacking all Luke paraphernalia is physically tiring, by the time I sit down for my cappuchino, I am sweaty, slightly pink, trying to remember if I put deodorant on, all the while pretending to look like this is easy and that I am in control! Glamorous?

I also try and wait a moment or 2 before we leave home, hoping that he will have a bowel movement so that he does not stink up where ever we are meeting people, trust me they could use Luke as a crowd clearing device.

I am not going to even get started on the horrendous conditions of baby changing rooms in this country -Clean much???

Most of them are so filthy dirty that I would not even put my dog on those matts!
I have on numerous occasions run my smelly boy into the parking lot to change the explosion in his nappy in the boot of my me.... not as easy as it sounds.

Okay I digress, back to my friend, she is single and has been playing the dating game.

The "game" is a distant memory for me but I do love hearing about her adventures! It is nice to sometimes have an adult conversation that does not require the words baby,vomit,teething or nappies anywhere in it!

The world of 25 plus dating seems to be quite a minefield. Gone are the days when manners maketh the man it seems!
Her stories made me laugh hysterically, you know that belly, teary eye, choke on your food, tea out your nose laugh. Yip that was me!
I wish she would write a book on her experiences, these men are absurd. Her stories make fact stranger then fiction. Stalkers, neat freaks, commitment phobs, scrooges...basically the big the bad and the ugly!

These 30 plus "potential" partners are too ridiculous for words, hmmmm maybe they were not breast fed as babies "giggle"!
I had better not say that because Luke was not breast fed but geez I do hope my son will know how to treat a lady, if not "I brought him into this world and I can take him out!" hehee.

I sat there enthralled by her world, a small part of me envious. She can do as she pleases, when she pleases, how she please and does not answer to anyone.
Then another part of me is thinking THANK GOODNESS I have Chris and that I do not have to go through all the rigmarole of the 25 plus dating game.

Trust me the rules have change, there is tough competition for very little reward, fair is not fair, men are not men and please ladies don't have an opinion, a brain or morals the man will run or try to mold or change you!

I do however confess that I on the odd occasion imagine the life of a singleton, the freedom, the living for ones self and only ones self. I can't but help getting a little nostalgic smile when thinking about my dating days, especially when cleaning house, paying boring utility bills, cleaning a crappy nappy, having no more than 2 hours sleep at any given time, buying formula instead of those really cute impractical shoes, telling everyone where I am all the times in case of emergency and feeling guilty if mommy/wife has a bit to much fun when with other people!

Do any of you remember that movie the name escapes me now.
The single friend asks a newly married friend "How are you?".
The newly married friend fights back a sob and says" I am fine but I have just realised that I will never be alone again!"

I can really relate to this. Marriage/motherhood can be quite Bitter/ Sweet!

In my case more sweet than bitter but I do occasionally dream!

Much Love M