June 30, 2010

Watch My Belly Grow!

10 Week Belly: craving chillis, so we will name baby Chilli Bean until we know if it is Blue or Pink

13 Week Belly: Chilli Bean is now fully formed.

16 Week Belly: Chilli Bean is a BOY! We shall call thee :Luke Christian Hall x
Luke means bringer of light.

18 Week Belly: Pop there you are, I am now looking pregnant not fat ;-)

23 Week Belly: Luke is picking up fat.

25 Week Belly: Starting to wear maternity pant jeans.

28 Week Belly.

29 Week Belly- suffering from a pregger rash on my face, my only bad preggy symptom!

36 Week Belly - professional pictures done by Darren Maree Photographers
Tel: 082 453 8947

37 Week Belly - my last tummy picture, 3 days later Luke arrived!
Much Love M x


Feeling: Just Bloody Funny!

Try these 14 simple tests before you decide to have children

Test 1 - Preparation Women:
To prepare for pregnancy:-
1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children:-
1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself.
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2 - Knowledge
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.
Enjoy it.
It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Test 3 - Nights
To discover how the nights will feel:
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at midnight and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.Keep this up for 5 years.

Test 4 - Dressing Small Children
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Test 5 - Cars
1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6 - Going For a Walk
Wait Go out the front door
Come back in again
Go out Come back in again
Go out again
Walk down the front path
Walk back up it
Walk down it again
Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
Retrace your steps
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7- Repeat everything you say at least five times.

Test 8 - Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9 - Feeding a one year-old
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

Test 10 - TV
1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least five years.

Test 11 - Mess
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/ storage box in your house onto the floor & leave it there.

Test 12 - Long Trips with Toddlers
1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13 - Conversations
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14 - Getting ready for work
1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work You are now ready to have children.

Update on Bad, Bad Mommy

Feeling: Like A Super Mom LOL!

Just a quick update...mission accomplished. Luke is eating MUCH better and a bigger variety of foods. I read the comments that people posted on my blog Bad,Bad Mommy and realised that none of their children were starving, living only on milk or were perfect and only liked the "good" stuff!

It seems everyone has had "food fights" with their kids...REVELATION I am not the only one! The other moms advice really help me to leap over this hurdle, yes my foot did get stuck on the top bar and I did scape my knees as I scrambled over it but I have learned from my error and am back in the race!

I stopped forcing the issue and suddenly he just started eating sooo much better. It was almost like he was sensing how I was feeling..cheeky little King. We are now going at his pace. He and I are much happier for it. He has actually cut himself down on his milk and is alllllmmooostt sleeping through the night. I still do not consider a 4am wake up call for food sleeping through but beggars can't be choosers.

I am also experimenting with foods that he does like and making different combinations with the foods that he does not want and so far so good! YIPEEE relief my boy will not live on milk and milk alone and Mommy is MUCH happier! I will not have to send a bottle with him in his lunchbox to Grade 1 instead of sandwiches.

Love M

Can You Laugh At Yourself

Feeling: Amused.

I hope no-one gets offended by what I am about to post but I think it is hilarious.

I received the below on email this morning and thought it was too good not to share!

I DO admit that I fall into a few of the following categories especially number 8 LOL!

9 of the most irritating people on facebook

The invites and updates never stop
E.G Do you want to join my farmville?!
I just upgraded my pigs to level 13, 14,15,16,,,,,,,83 Pig Wars Whoohoo!

You should come to my cats birthday party?!
Yes you hardly know me but it would mean the world to fluffy PLEEAAASE RSVP!

SPAM....Would you like to become a fan of..Would you like to be a fan of.......?

They will tag you on ANYTHING regardless of whether it is something you would want your family or co-workers to see.

This person who you hardly know follows you around on Facebook and comments on EVERYTHING that you do.
PLeeaasssse be my Fwiend..pretty please.

You would think they would have gotten sick of those by now?!

They post well- rehearsed retorts without mentioning any ones name.
It may be because they can't confront people in real life or love to create drama!

They use their kids as their profile picture.
It is meant to be cute but everyone else finds it annoying and a bit disturbing!

They post updates about everything even when it is something you would never ever want to know.
We have all seen a few of those!

Hope this makes you smile and lets be honest we all do it!

Love M

June 28, 2010

Tired, let me off!

Feeling: Tired

I am battling to express how I actually feel today.
Every time I try to think of a descriptive word all I can see is this big, dark bubble floating over my head that says TIRED! SIGH!
That word is just so boring and common... but alas I am.... TIRED.... my body is tired, my brain is tired, my feelings are tired, my eyeballs are tired, even my husband is tired! Hehee!

Is it perhaps the mid-year winter slump?
Nope it is just life and the speed of life. I can't quite remember when last I stopped to smell the roses/chocolate cake? From the moment I open up my eyes in the morning to the second that I collapse into bed at night, I am on the GOOOOOOOOOO.

My life is hectic and demanding. My days seem to have sped up. In 2 days time we are already into JULY OMW and today my baby is 7 months old!

Work has been busy, with all our clients arriving for the Soccer World Cup at once.

On Saturday I had 17 people arrive. Some of them were very "difficult" I really could use a much more colourful word to describe them but remember I am trying to be a lady, so you will all have to be content with the word "difficult"!

This one woman in particular was terrible, I have had to warn the various lodges that I am sending her too that they may need to give their staff Rescue Remedy before she arrives, on second thought Vodka. This may help them to deal with her blatant rudeness. She had my transfer lady in tears on Sunday. Actually I had dream that I smashed a Vuvuzela over her head!!

Yes some of these visitors have been that unpleasant.

The funny thing is that they are the ones who are disorganised, they have no clue what they are doing and want our services for free. I have had to do just about everything for them. I wonder if they will need someone to wipe their ...... okay I will stop now remember my promise to be a lady!

Organising fabulous, dream, once in a life time holidays for spoilt brats and people who are just so sadly jaded is quite an experience!
They make my brain tired especially when I want/need/crave, will sell my kidney for their holiday.
Actually on second thought my tongue is tired from being diplomatic and polite when talking to them.
Thankfully "that' woman could not see my middle finger through our various telephone conversations "snigger".

We found out yesterday that my brother and sister in law will be having a baby girl in November. I am so excited to be an auntie and to be an auntie to a niece is just the cherry on top.
How fun is that going to be. Maybe she will be like me? I had better not say that to my brother he may run away! LOL
Around the time that my niece arrives my King Luke will be turning 1...EEECK slow down my precious son, don't grow up to quickly!

On a negative note my Mamma Bear is having an op on Thursday. She has 2 lumps on her thyroid and will be having them and part of her thyroid removed. I am in one word... anxious.... enough said.
I will be taking the day off work to look after my baby because the best day care in town will be closed (aka Nanna's House). So with the excitement of new baby girl but the downer of moms op I feel tired...that word again!

Luke is very vocal at the moment, he makes me laugh. He is a seriously funny little ball of mischief. I do not have any bench marks when it comes to comparing him with other babies. I really have no idea if other babies do the things that he does but I find him a hoot! I think he is so clever maybe the cleverest baby boy in the whole world :-)

He hums himself to sleep when I rock him in my arms, not a quiet gently hum but a big boisterous hum, then every now and again he lets out a little snigger.

He laughs when we laugh even though he has no idea why we are laughing or maybe he does "wink, wink"!
He squeals with delight when I tickle him or change his nappy!
He LOVES to play pick- a -boo. I let him jump on the bed naked- he is such a typical boy,and squeals with delight. He seems very proud of his appendages! He sticks his out his tongue in serious concentration and if I stop bouncing him he tries to jump on his own. His co-ord is still all over the place so when he does this he looks like a drunken, naked, chubby, Sponge Bob Square Pants with serious hail damage....To CUTE!

If I give him a food that he does not like his entire body shivers, you have to peel me off the floor when he does this, it is hilarious! He gags, blinks and quivers when he gets a lump and will work the lump to the tip of his tongue where it is promptly spat out!

Shopping takes me forever, he is one of those kids that makes full eye contact with complete strangers. He flirts with everyone so subsequently they all stop me and ohh and awww over him. He loves the added attention and gets this very self important expression on his little face. He even lowers his eyebrows and coyly peeps over them at the lovely ladies- I swear I can hear his saying "How ja doing?" - FLIRT!

If we do happen to be near someone who ignores him he will, squeal at them and laugh until he gets noticed. If they continue to ignore him he actually growls?!

He is wonderful and I am so blessed to be his mommy but the Little King is still not sleeping the entire night so I do admit my eyes are tired!

I am still managing to do 1 hour of gym 4 times a week. Fortunately I only picked up a couple of pesky kilos in my pregnancy. I have just about lost them all BUT there is always a but.... I still feel gross!
I can easily get back into my smallest jeans. I look the same as before if not smaller but my clothes feel different - maybe my hips have widened ohhh the horror?
I have lost all my own boobies - thank goodness for my fakies or I would have had to buy a t-shirt saying "this is the front". My Caesar scar is just that a scar...no more to be said on that!

To look the way I do after a baby is not fantastic genetics. I am tired of people telling me how lucky I am to have bounced back so quickly. I work out DAMN hard and did my entire pregnancy. Hence my body is tired, I get up early to go and work out 4 times a week without fail, boooyaaaa!

All in all life if busy but still good. I am truly blessed with a good job, supportive family, beautiful baby, wonderful hubby but I do at times wish that I could pause time for a few hours a day so that I could go and take a REAL nap....IMAGINE the possibilities?

Love M

June 23, 2010

Perfection, I wish.

Feeling: Very talkative.

Confessions, I quite like those.... NOT the confessions that people tell their religious leaders but every day, hey guess what, my life is less than perfect, snigger, laugh stories that make up our lives.
There is nothing I like better than having a raw, real, down to earth chat with someone. Especially if they are able to see life for what it is: a serious of belly flops (OUCH).Once in a while you may get that perfect jem, a 10/10 the most graceful, majestic perfect dive. This does not happen often but when it does it is pure, memorable magic!

A little less than perfect that is how I live. As I have gotten older and perhaps "snigger" a little wiser I do embrace this. I can actually see the funny side to many a misadventure and I maybe actually (gasp, horror) laugh at myself.

Sadly I find people who will actually share the real deal very few and far between.
With Face Book they seem to be just about non-existent or maybe I just don't recognise them?
It could be because of all the facial/body reconstruction going on?

Every one seems so happy,happy,happy and beautiful? umm Ja I don't buy it!
Photo shopping gotta love it!
Sadly I must however confess that I too am not immune to this trend, my vanity does at times prevail, if a photo is taken at a less than desirable i.e FAT angle it swiftly gets deleted! I am not a fan of "wide angle" shots hehee!

I do however fight the urge to give myself that all year Tan. I do "TRY" and post click and print pics....I will prevail! Deep breath, baby steps.
I have this irrational fear that a FB friend will meet me in real life and will think wow she does not look fab like her FB photos, actually she is pretty much drab! How bad would that be?

For those people who are real and don't care who knows the honest truth I salute you!
You make me proud. You are brave and yes I can hear your roar.

Send me some of your confessions here is a list of mine - lets think of it as a getting to know each other session :

1. I would love to convert my kitchen into a study. I am serious! It would then actually be used. I am a less than perfect domestic goddess, especially after the gem squash incident of 2008.

2. I hate walking barefoot or seeing barefoot people.Don't even get me started on people who go shopping without shoes on (pet hate)! I heard that TB can go through the soles of your feet . EEEW

3. I think gap years are silly - sorry guys Cringe but I do. Maybe it is because I was to scared to take one.

4. I am not a girls, girl and can go to the bathroom on my own. I don't get why girls do this am I the only one? Giggling girls make me cringe, I can't handle them. I get an ichy slap her hand!

5. I am petrified of getting fat, my biggest fear. Sad but true. Fried food makes me anxious!

6. I have been on anti-depressants for 5 years but have suffered with depression for many more. It is a constant companion and challenge. (Will write a blog on this)

7. I am not into music at all. A girl once told me she does not trust anyone who is not into music. Needless to say we are not friends! I listen to 702, I like all the talking, surprise, surprise and feel very important when I know stuff!

8. I am scared my son will not love me because at times I don't love me. Deep!

9. I love the security that money brings not so much the stuff.

10. I can't cope in the corporate world. I just somehow can't quite play the game. I just don't match up. This makes me feel like a failure, I have the brains, the studies, the look but not the drive....

11. I feel totally unsociable at times and instead of partying. I prefer being in bed by 20:00 reading a silly, unsophisticated book. Nothing too deep. I still feel all partied out from my Uni days. I am over it and can't get the feeling/vibe back no matter what I do, it is lost!

12 I don't just like or love my jeans I adore them. I only wear dresses for Chris or on very special occasions. I at times want to dress like a guy, they have it so easy! SIGH.

13. Chris and I fight a lot but make up even faster because we love each other the bestest. Most times we forget what we were actually arguing about. One word "passion"!

14. My long eyelashes are the result of an eye lash growing serum - it is amazing! They are not "naturally" this long.

15. I love my son the mostest but I really disliked pregnancy. I do not think it is beautiful, miraculous yes, beautiful no. I like my body to be my own.

Perhaps I am the only less than perfect mother/wife/ woman there with a few confessions?

Love M

June 18, 2010

We Need To Talk About Kevin

Feeling: Loved this book as much as one can love such a morbid, incredibly sad story.

This book is very, very thought provoking and after reading it I milled over the story for days.
I actually read it twice to make sure that I did not miss a thing and to give myself a chance to actually make up my mind if agreed with the author.

When you finish reading this book you will not feel happy, it will make you question your beliefs.
You will view certain people a little differently because we all know someone who is a bit like Kevin! I think I went to school with a few "Kevin's"!

The book asks that age old question "Are certain people just born evil?".
If you are pregnant with your 1st child I would not suggest that you read this book, once you read it you will understand why I say this.....scary stuff!

For someone who likes something that is a little different and enjoys a bit of psychological thriller it will keep you in suspense until the very last page.
I read this book in two days!

If anyone else has read " We Need To Talk About Kevin" I would Love to know what you thought?

The below sums up the book- not written by me- but I loved the description!

We Need to Talk About by Kevin Lionel Shriver

"The school shootings that ran rampant through the 1990s had everyone shocked and in fear of sending their kids to school. Throughout the shootings, culminating in Columbine, one thing probably went through everyone’s minds: What were these kids’ parents like? It’s human nature to assume that children who go bad are helped along by cruel or indifferent parents. Why do we think this? Because if we let our minds consider the alternative, that some kids are just born bad, then we must be aware of the frightening fact that it could happen to us.
We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver explores this very idea through a source closer to the subject than any other—the mother of a boy who shot seven of his classmates during a rampage in the school gym. Although the book is fictional, the subject matter is all too real, and this makes it an exceptionally chilling read.
Eva Khatchadourian explores her feeling about her son Kevin’s actions through a series of letters to her estranged husband, Franklin. Although this might seem like a limiting way to go about a book of this scope, it actually works quite well. Through Eva’s eyes, we watch the excruciating formative years of an evil child who convinces his gullible father that he’s a sweet boy, but whose mother knows better. Eva’s dislike of her cold little boy just fuels his cruel streak, slowly escalating his violent nature as he grows older.
The heartbreaking part of the novel comes when Eva and Franklin have a second child, the incredibly na├»ve and trusting Celia, who thinks her brother is the greatest person on earth. The foreshadowing of what happens to Celia, and to the entire family, is almost unbearable to read because Shriver does such an excellent job of painting a picture of a family whose members are far from perfect but who certainly don’t deserve what will happen to them. An air of bleak despair settles over the entire novel, reflecting Eva’s mood as she writes to her beloved Franklin.
If you plan to pick up this novel, be forewarned: it is not light, it will not give you faith in humanity and it will probably scare you more than any horror novel you’ve ever read. Why? Because what happened to Eva’s family could easily happen to any family in America. With her eye for detail and talent for creating a chilling, desperate atmosphere, Lionel Shriver has penned a novel that will stay with you long after you’ve read the last chapter"

Bad, Bad Mommy!

Feeling: Just so DOWN :-(

King Luke is a stubborn little guy, I say this in a very subdued whisper. He knows what he wants and will "fight" until he gets it. I do struggle to see this as a bad thing because I am the exactly the same, my parents keep telling me that Luke and I are 2 peas, 1 pod!

I feel like I am a bumbling, ridiculous totally unsure of myself mother, most of the time I am making up the rules as I go, I don't really have a plan!

This has so far worked and I have a baby who is totally sure of himself, he is a delight. He however does go with his own flow and has done this since birth. Trust me I have tried to get him into a routine, as soon as I think great I have done it, he changes and we being all over again!

He is one of those babies who loves everyone, he does not have a mean bone in his body. I have so often noticed this "streak" in other children but oh dear this has made him the master of getting own way. He gets what he wants by giving a smile or giggle. It is the most amazing thing that I have ever witnessed.
He will be exhausted and will fight sleep to the final second, as soon I put him in his cot he will burst out into a fit of giggles, eyes still closed and all ,and yes my heart melts. 10 minutes later he is ready for round 2. Have you ever?

When he refuses a bottle, he will sit with the teat in his mouth and smile at me allowing the milk to pour out the sides of his mouth.

Now I know that this is a tool of manipulation "GULP" there I said it manipulation and it is going to get him his own way with most people but it is causing me quite a bit of distress because I can't get him to do things that I know are good for him.
Even when I try and be firm I can't stay that way for long. How do you stay strong when he is simply delightful? One smile and all resistance crumbles!

He is 6.5months old and is still not eating solids properly, yesterday was a classic example. He had his porridge in the morning, he does not like it at all. I have tried every brand and every mixture from runny to firm. He just messes it, smiles and plays with his bib through every tiny mouthful that I manage to give him. Then we come to lunch time, he will only eat 2 types of fruit, peaches and apples and not a lot of those either, he still will not finish even a small bottle.

Last night he vomited his veggie and beef mush all over me and himself. As I started to feed him I knew it was pointless...he gagged, blinked and shivered his way through every mouthful. In between every torturous mouthful, he would smile with lips firmly closed. I tried to persist but once he realised that I was persisting he vomited!

Ohh and lets not even discuss lumps, one lump in any kind of food and we are all covered in what ever he has eaten. I have tested him, I gave him a yummy teething biscuit, he happily sucked on it but as soon as 1 tiny bit broke off he gagged and spat it out.....now look I am all for keeping him on his bottles it does make my life easier but man can not live on milk and milk alone?

What do I do? I have tried just about every combination of food possible and there is nothing that he seems to like. It feels like it has become a big game to him.

I was told at gym today that I now need to get tough and start cutting down on his bottle...in my heart I know this but it still made my tummy churn, I actually had to blink back the tears. Being a working mom I know that I over compensate for my guilty. I am loathe to actually fight him because the time that I do spend with him is special and I don't want to be the one causing conflict and fights. I keep getting this thought "What if he doesn't Love me because I am going to have to be tougher?" GULP! I need to be his mother not playmate or friend.

I know it will be for his own good and in the end ours but I am scared. This weekend I am going to try and cut down on his milk to see if he will now eat his food. I am dreading it as Luke is not a cry baby, granted he does have a tantrum now and again but I am hoping that he will be true to form and will giggle and smile his way through the entire process.
Wish me luck!

Love M

June 15, 2010

How Hard Can It Be?

Feeling: Amused!

Okay so how hard can having a baby be?

This very question would pop into my head every time I would hear my friends talk about motherhood and the various challenges that they were experiencing.

It is a cabbage for the first three months right?...sleep, eat, poop, wee ....repeat.... easy peasy!

Oh my goodness... I was so,so wrong. I admit this loudly and proudly.Motherhood is one of the most hectic, life altering experiences that I have EVER had. I was blind sided by a 3kg human.

He rocked my world and even today my axis is still a little skew! I LOVE it.

The 1st week we brought Luke home it was touch and go as to whether I was actually going to make it! I have never felt so out of control or out of my depth in my entire life. I quickly realised that my baby was not a cabbage but was a living, breathing, moving, developing little person made especially by God. He already had likes and dislikes..it took me about 3 months to learn his lingo - I was a slow learner but he now has me trained!

This cry, noise, moan means this and that facial expression means that and no you can't hurt, kill or permanently damage you baby by doing x and y. I remember Chris telling me that Luke is not as fragile as he looks and that I need to take control (Just shows you how amazing my husband is, he knew more about babies than I did - he is my hero)!

I was convinced that I was not doing things right or that I was somehow hurting Luke! I felt like I was all thumbs, I was not the graceful, controlled domestic goddess/mother/wife I had envisioned.

I found it a learning curb doing even the simple task of dressing Luke, he was so squirmy. I would finally get everything together and he would wee all over me and himself, so we would have to start the process again. Lets not forget when he had a "spuit poop" all over me..beeeauuuutifuul!! I was shocked, it took me awhile to regroup after that one!

Sleep deprivation now that is an interesting topic, do you know that in many countries it is used as a form of torture....YES you heard me, Torture. Okay my first thought AGAIN, you think I would learn,how bad can it be?.. surely you sleep when you baby sleeps?..GIGGLE!

Luke used to eat every 2 hours , it would take him at least 30 minutes to finish feeding, then 30 minutes of burping, then he would either sleep or not..his choice... so where did my sleep fit in? Get the picture..!

I remember one particular evening (shudder) Luke screamed the whole night. I had my baby sense book out and was ticking off all the possible causes for his unhappiness, is he warm enough- check, is he cool enough- check, are his clothes comfortable- check, does he have any scratchy labels that I can remove- check, is his nappy clean- check, is he hungry- check, is he windy- check, is he insecure and needs to be swaddled correctly- check and so the list continued.... eventually I came to (in my foggy, slightly deranged mind) the only possible conclusion, I was just a bad, bad mother and my baby of a week old already hated me.

In the first 3 months Chris would often step in and in his usual calm, amused manner take control of a situation. He was fantastic and would often put my fears at rest and would calm the guilt that I often felt. I now know that guilt comes with the territory, it seems to be a prerequisite for motherhood!

Luke is my angel when he sleeps, adorable when he giggles, a character when he squeals for attention, a flirt when meeting someone new with his coy little smile, a heart melter when he puts out his little hands for me, beautiful when he watches my every move with his big blue eyes, cute when I undress him and see his screw on wrists and chubby thighs, amazing when he frowns in concentration when learning something new, a heart breaker when he cries, mischievous when be blows bubbles and the KING when he gets his own way hehee,all in all he is just perfect!

He is a part of me and I him, we are getting to know each other daily. I relish the the moments of true unconditional love that I feel as a mother for son!

Love M

A Rod For My Back

Feeling: irritated!

Why do people keep telling me that I am making a rod for my back when it come to my son King Luke ?...Yes KING. He is the ruler of my heart. I have not asked anyone else to do what I do and it is really starting to grate my carrot!

I hold him alot, I run to him even when he just whimpers, I will never, ever leave him to cry, I rock him to sleep, stroke his chubby cheeks or pat his nappy when he is tired. I hug him, kiss him, talk to him and play with him as much as I can. I am very protective over him and only like certain, trusted people to hold him. He still has his 1am bottle and I am fine with that and no I will not give him water instead! He is hungry and glugs down his milk in 15min without opening his eyes - rather cute!

He is spoilt I admit it, but he is a very happy,smiley,content baby because he knows he is loved. He rules and I run and it is just an absolute pleasure for me to do anything and everything for him especially while he will let me. So I take full advantage and will continue to do so for the rest of his life, that is just the way it is and will forever be. He comes first.

When older people hear that my mom looks after him every day while I am at work they get a frown and ask my mom in a terrified whisper "How do you cope?' Like my mom says whats to cope with? My mom says it is a privilege to look after Luke and I know in my heart that when I am a granny one day I would love to do the same for my grandchildren! My moms spoils Luke as much as I do, in all honestly what else are Granny's for?

When people hear this they give us a very disdainful look... maybe it is because they feel guilty that they are not doing it for their own grandchildren? I don't know?

I once watched a program on brain development in babies and it is a proven fact that those babies who were touched, held and loved had bigger brains with better connections than those who were not held, touched or loved. These baby's were living in an orphanage and were only given the basics to survive. The difference in brain development was huge and could clearly be seen in their brain scans..quite amazing!

So if anyone criticise me and my mom about how much we spoil Luke my new answer is:

"I am developing my sons brain cells!"

Love M

June 07, 2010

Monday Moodiness!

Feeling: Monday Moodiness!

Do you ever get Monday Moodiness?

I DO...Every Sunday at about 17:00 I get this sore knot in my stomach; I start to feel teary, irritable and anxious. I always have a bit of a Sunday evening wobbly- foetal position and all.
This has been happening since I started Grade 1. I really hated school – I hope that Luke has a different schooling experience. My first job at Standard Bank did not help... in fact it only worsened the situation.

I don’t like the start of a new week for a number of reasons:
I dislike getting back into routine- roooutinesshhhmmmootine BLAH.
I dislike leaving my Hubby for so many hours during the day.
I dislike having to get up early to fight traffic.
I dislike the rush.
I dislike the thought of what may be waiting for me at the office – remnants of my 2 years at Standard Bank – even though I now love my job, I still get that feeling of dread!

To make matters even worse I REALLY, REALLY dislike leaving my baby, King Luke – I miss him so much and feel terribly guilty even though he is at the best day care facility in Joburg .... NANNAS HOUSE!

I would give ANYTHING to be a stay home mom. Chris and I are working on this, we have a plan. I pray that by the time baby # 2 arrives my dream will become a reality. In the mean time I am doing the best I can – which in my opinion is not good enough.
I am however working on becoming a positive, happy Monday Mamma because at the end of the day this feeling too shall pass.

This is a brief version of my week every week..day in day out – Enough said:

01:00 am – Luke wakes mommy up for his feed – we are done and dusted in 15 minutes.
05:00 am – Daddy does Lukes 2nd feed – Done and dusted in 15 minutes.

06:00 am – The alarm clock goes off even though I feel like I just closed my eyes.
06:05/10/15 am – Still snoozing. I can hear the distant beeping.
06:15 am – Fetch Luke from his cot (a nappy change is essential) Let Shnooks out for a wee.

06:30 am – Make breakfast / lunches– eat it in bed with Chris, Shnooks and Luke.
07:00 am – Get dressed for Gym.
07:15 am – Load the car with a million bags, Shnooks and Luke.
07:20 am – Drive to mom’s house.
07:30 am – Drop off Luke and Shnooks with Nanna and GoGo. BIG KISSES goodbye. Nanna gives Luke Breakfast and a bath.
07:45 am – Arrive at the gym and work my butt off literally, LOL
08:45 am – Get dressed and put on face (JoBurg war) paint at the Gym.
09:00 am – Leave gym for work, 30 minute drive.
09:30 am – WORK
15:30 pm – Leave work – mad dash to Nannas- CANT WAIT to see my baby!
16:00 pm – Arrive at Moms House to mischievous smiles and an insanely happy to see me dog who wees on my foot. Play time with Luke Whoo Hoooo!
(I may stay at moms for dinner or go home...either way the routine is the same. Chris meets me either at home or at moms house).
17:00 pm – Lukes dinner time – hmmmm mush my favourite.
17:30 pm - Bath Time – daddy arrives home to much noise- YIPEEEEE!!

18:00 pm – Our dinner time – Luke starts to niggle for his bottle as I get my food – moms will understand this!
18:30 – Luke’s final bottle for the evening..wind down time.

19:00 – Luke’s bed time after a whole lotta rocking – I love it...holding him against me... bliss!
19:30 – Chris and my time.
21:00 – Collapse into bed!


Love M

June 03, 2010

ME a Mother WOW!

Feeling: Nostalgic

My Son Luke Christian Hall was born on Sunday 29Th of November 2009 at 04:35am. He was a hefty 3.12Kg and was 3 weeks early. It is most incredible, life changing moment that I have ever experienced, NOTHING can compare.
I still can't quite believe that I am a mother - the best role ever. I look at Luke and find it mind blowing that he is actually here and is mine. It is a little scary as well, I am responsible for this little life.. Wow Breath!
Luke's actual "due" date was the 16Th of December. My Gyno had booked me to have my Caesar on the 9Th December but as the old saying goes... children have minds of their own.

I went to work on the 27Th of November and even managed to do a hectic 1.5 hour gym workout in the afternoon- yaaay go me.
On the 28Th of November I had a busy day. Chris was playing cricket so I decided to get all the girly things out the way - I had my hair highlighted, my nails done and even managed a bikini wax (OUCH)(WAX MUCH???)..smooth like a babies....Umm Yip!

Chris then met me at my parents house for dinner..we had a big rib braai, YUM. We finally got home at 21:00. As I settled down to watch some TV I started to feel sick...tummy cramping sick. I waddled to the bathroom and saw the first signs of labour - PANIC!

I was sitting on the toilet wondering if this was really it or maybe it was that HUGE rich dinner that I had eaten - Note to self... never eat rich food the last month of pregnancy in case of early labour!

I calmly called Chris and asked him to throw me my Baby Bible through the door - when in doubt read!
I went straight to the page that said "First Signs Of Labour" OMW terrifying stuff in there! I started to feel a tinge of panic, THIS WAS NOT THE PLAN. I had not even gone to any anti-natal classes because I WAS HAVING A CAESAR!

Chris by this stage was anxiously standing outside the bathroom door - Babes I think I am in labour I said. His first response was call your mom. I really didn't want to bother her especially if this was not really it.
After a few more convincing cramps I called mom and told her what was going on..she started to giggle and said "MY LOVE YOU ARE IN LABOUR!"

I told Chris and gave him strict instructions on what I still needed packed. I then decided I needed to put some make-up on and YIP the contractions really HIT! OMW screw looking decent I threw my make-up in my bag and dragged Chris to the car.

On the way to the hospital we collected my mom and dad. As part of my birth plan I wanted my mom to witness the birth of her first grandchild. My dad being a Maree wanted to take his car so we transferred cars and my dad started to drive. My contractions at this stage were 3 minutes apart. I was sitting sideways in the car and was loosing my sense of humour. My dad was driving sooo slowly..when I told him to hurry up he calmly replied that he had precious cargo in the back GRRRRR I was going to precious cargo him in a minute!!! My mom and Chris were all giggly and telling me to breath - what the....! All the stupid breathing did was make me feel light headed.

When we finally arrived at the hospital this nurse came with a wheel chair...nope I don't need it I replied and proceeded to RUN up two flights of stair - the lifts were too slow. I pushed the labour ward "panic button" and told the nurse who I was and to let me in. They took me to the labour "torture" room and gave me the one of those bottom hanger outter gowns - all dignity from this point on was to be lost.

The nurse did an internal that was really,really sore I wanted to crawl off the bed backwards. She told me I was 3cm dilated. Okay so where is the Gyno I replied..we still have to call him was her response. As luck would have it my lovely Gyno was on holiday - good timing Luke!

They then put a heart rate monitor on my 37 week belly to check that my Luke was okay - relief - his heart rate was strong! I spend the next 4 hours vomiting, sitting on the toilet and lying on the bed in every position imaginable there was no doctor in sight. At one point the nurse told me that not one of the stand in doctors were answering their phones and that she could deliver my baby if need be - I burst into tears OMW no DRUGS???! Okay, I change my mind I don't want to do this lets go home!

My waters had now broken (it was so not like the movies, just a cupful..where was the big splash?).I was getting increasingly aggressive and everyone was tip toeing around me.

Eventually at 4am the stand in anesthetist arrived, I was so relieved, it was love at first sight. The stand in Gyno also arrived - he strolled in chewing gum! His first response was agggg you can carry on pushing! My response was - ....EDITED FOR SENSITIVE READERS (R18).....- not very polite!

I was finally wheeled into theate and got my spinal block - Heaven - warm, fuzzy, pain free heaven! I could not believe how easy and painless it was! They lay me down on this little table and started cutting ,I felt a tug - the Gyno then said OMW this is a big boy - pass me the forceps! He then slid my 3.12Kg son onto my lap at 4:35am. Luke let out a tiny cry and proceeded to wee all over me!

My mom was screaming, laughing and crying the entire time.Chris could not wipe smile off his face. He hugged and kissed me and whispered that he loved me and that I did good - poor guy!

Luke was immediately brought to me, I felt so overwhelmed I just sobbed. "Hello my son nice to meet you, I am your mommy, the voice you have heard for the past few months!" I whispered as I stroked his crinkled little face. He was blue and needed an oxygen top up, he had a cone head from being in the birth canal but 10 fingers, 10 toes and a frown - perfection!

Every uncomfortable, embarrassing, painful, scary moment disappeared and I realised that I had witnessed a true miracle and that God had blessed me and Chris with Luke -Bringer of light - this is what his name means.

I love him now and forever. He is a symbol of Chris and my love and our commitment to each other. I would do it all over in a heart beat just for you my son!

Psalm 139:

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous--and how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

Much Love M x

First Timer!

Feeling: A tad nervous.

Hello All, This is my very first post EVER - so exciting!

I have no clue what I am doing But I will try and be a good, regular blogger -Promise!
- If you have tips on how to make my page better, feel free to send them.

A few things to get out of the way before I get into the nitty,gritty, fun stuff (be afraid be very afraid LOL)

Please do not criticise my spelling or grammar. I am saying this now... I can not spell, even though I am an avid reader... I write the way I talk.. So please bear with me if you are a spelling/grammar fanatic (you know who you are) my apologies waaay in advance :-)

I will be upfront and honest in my posts but I will TRY and be diplomatic (think before I write)...shew not easy for me. I am working on becoming more reserved and lady like...umm jaaa not going so well but I do live in hope.

That is it for now, enjoy my blog.

Love M