June 18, 2010

Bad, Bad Mommy!

Feeling: Just so DOWN :-(


King Luke is a stubborn little guy, I say this in a very subdued whisper. He knows what he wants and will "fight" until he gets it. I do struggle to see this as a bad thing because I am the exactly the same, my parents keep telling me that Luke and I are 2 peas, 1 pod!

I feel like I am a bumbling, ridiculous totally unsure of myself mother, most of the time I am making up the rules as I go, I don't really have a plan!

This has so far worked and I have a baby who is totally sure of himself, he is a delight. He however does go with his own flow and has done this since birth. Trust me I have tried to get him into a routine, as soon as I think great I have done it, he changes and we being all over again!

He is one of those babies who loves everyone, he does not have a mean bone in his body. I have so often noticed this "streak" in other children but oh dear this has made him the master of getting own way. He gets what he wants by giving a smile or giggle. It is the most amazing thing that I have ever witnessed.
He will be exhausted and will fight sleep to the final second, as soon I put him in his cot he will burst out into a fit of giggles, eyes still closed and all ,and yes my heart melts. 10 minutes later he is ready for round 2. Have you ever?

When he refuses a bottle, he will sit with the teat in his mouth and smile at me allowing the milk to pour out the sides of his mouth.

Now I know that this is a tool of manipulation "GULP" there I said it manipulation and it is going to get him his own way with most people but it is causing me quite a bit of distress because I can't get him to do things that I know are good for him.
Even when I try and be firm I can't stay that way for long. How do you stay strong when he is simply delightful? One smile and all resistance crumbles!

He is 6.5months old and is still not eating solids properly, yesterday was a classic example. He had his porridge in the morning, he does not like it at all. I have tried every brand and every mixture from runny to firm. He just messes it, smiles and plays with his bib through every tiny mouthful that I manage to give him. Then we come to lunch time, he will only eat 2 types of fruit, peaches and apples and not a lot of those either, he still will not finish even a small bottle.

Last night he vomited his veggie and beef mush all over me and himself. As I started to feed him I knew it was pointless...he gagged, blinked and shivered his way through every mouthful. In between every torturous mouthful, he would smile with lips firmly closed. I tried to persist but once he realised that I was persisting he vomited!

Ohh and lets not even discuss lumps, one lump in any kind of food and we are all covered in what ever he has eaten. I have tested him, I gave him a yummy teething biscuit, he happily sucked on it but as soon as 1 tiny bit broke off he gagged and spat it out.....now look I am all for keeping him on his bottles it does make my life easier but man can not live on milk and milk alone?

What do I do? I have tried just about every combination of food possible and there is nothing that he seems to like. It feels like it has become a big game to him.

I was told at gym today that I now need to get tough and start cutting down on his bottle...in my heart I know this but it still made my tummy churn, I actually had to blink back the tears. Being a working mom I know that I over compensate for my guilty. I am loathe to actually fight him because the time that I do spend with him is special and I don't want to be the one causing conflict and fights. I keep getting this thought "What if he doesn't Love me because I am going to have to be tougher?" GULP! I need to be his mother not playmate or friend.

I know it will be for his own good and in the end ours but I am scared. This weekend I am going to try and cut down on his milk to see if he will now eat his food. I am dreading it as Luke is not a cry baby, granted he does have a tantrum now and again but I am hoping that he will be true to form and will giggle and smile his way through the entire process.
Wish me luck!

Love M

6 comments:

  1. My angel - he's only 6.5 months old! Why do you want to cut down his milk NOW? How many bottles a day is he having? Most experts only recommend starting solids at 6 months, so he is doing just fine as he is!!! Here is a link to the Baby Centre site, specifically relating to solids: http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/startingsolids/introducing/
    Now, DON'T be so hard on yourself. Do what works for YOU and not what everyone else thinks is the right or wrong way. You are doing a fabulous job and you don't need to feel guilty, pressured or otherwise.
    Lots of love and mamma support,
    Me
    xxx

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  2. Candice WhiteheadJune 18, 2010 at 4:05 AM

    Just wait till he learns how to say NO! Ethan was also a fussy eater and much force feeding was done...until he learned to say NO!

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  3. Hi Mandy
    I know how you feel, Liam was a very stubborn baby and is a very self assured 4yr old. I went through much of the same and finally realised that he will eat, sleep, and play only when he is ready to.
    Dont feel pressured into stopping this or starting that because others have done so, Luke will get there when he is ready.

    There are no rules to follow and you need to make it up as you go along. It isnt easy especially working but all you can do is give them your best - which I know you do!! Luke will always love you thats one thing you can be sure of!! even after Liam has had a massive tantrum and me too he will come tell me he loves me and all will be fine again.

    So dont stress, keep tryng different foods even if he only has a taste,its a start.
    I used to give Liam mashed up friut like bananas and lots of yogurt he also loved paw paw.But I got vommited on loads so it is normal!

    Try to have a good week end and remember to take it 1 day at a time because they grow so quickly and before you know it this will seem like a distant memeory and you will be facing a whole new set of problems
    ;-)
    Love Cary

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  4. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much my friends you have all made me feel so much better and not like a complete failure! It is so, so hard guys! I hate not knowing whether I am doing the right thing or not but you all give me hope!
    Thanks huns I really felts so down today but I now feel a little bit more in control!
    Lots of love M

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  5. Mands.

    I don't have kids but I have 8 nieces and nephews that I have bottled, cleaned and wiped up after and one thing I can tell you....THERE IS NO MANUAL! And there's no manual becuase that's what makes us unique.

    So hang in there and listen to yourself. All the advice in the world wont change that YOU carried him for 9months, nobody but you. So follow your instincts...they afterall dont call it a "mother's instinct" for nothing.

    Good luck this weekend.
    Luv
    Lol (Abdo)

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  6. Hey Mands.

    Well i dont have a munchkin myself but im an au pair of a now 1 year old.
    I started looking after him at around 5months he sounds exactly like your little guy...

    But DONT worry hun - from what i have heard yo are doing a great job. the most important thing is each and every child is differnt and does things at differnt stages - the books and websites are only guide lines.
    dont need to rush anything - take your time and little luke. perserve but dont push - if that makes sense.
    Jason is obviously so much better but that only very resent - he graudully went from the diff stages of purity and the woolies little tubs and he finally is starting to eat (normalish) food

    Hope that made sense.
    Enjoy your weekend - to a very special mommy) and if u ever need a hand or anything give me a call - been doing the childcare thing for like 9 years of all ages...

    Big hugs and hang in there xoxox

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