July 28, 2010

The Day That Changed My Life

Feeling: Euphoric

I remember the day that changed my life, like it was just yesterday. It was the day that I found our that I was pregnant (Mid April 2008 - Voters day)!
2 dark blue lines like this l l and BAM life is never ever the same again.

Luke was unplanned..I mean don't get me wrong I was thrilled/scared sh1tless when I found out I was pregnant but he was not on my check list at that stage.......I had too much going on. Life was a bit overwhelming and I was desperately trying to regain my footing.

In May 2007 I had made a desperate decision to come off the pill after using it for 10 years.
It was giving me horrific migraines and eventually I could hardly function they had gotten so bad.
Chris would have to rush me to the ER once a month for a migraine injection. These headaches would start and I would do EVERY conceivable thing suggested by professionals, non professionals and google to control them, but once I had pushed through my day the migraine would come back at night with vengeance.

So there I was in the beginning of 2007, well known by the ER staff for my once a month 10pm visit for a drip from all the vomiting and a jab in the butt to get rid of the sledge hammer chopping out bits of my brain. We were all on a first name basis!

I was always attended to first even before the poor bleeding victims. I learnt early on that hospital florescent lights are torture devices that make migraines worse. So the nurses knew if they made me sit in the waiting room I would vomit on their nice, clean floors. It seems they would rather clean up blood than vomit, I knew how to get attention first. Sorry poor gun shot/car accident victims but if you snooze you loose!

I decided to go back to my gyno and told him about the headaches. He said that I needed to stop the pill as all the other avenues had been tested or tried and it was now the only solution to my problem at this point.
I called Chris who agreed and I literally never took the pill again.

Chris and I had been married for 4 years at this point and I knew I WANTED a baby. Previously when we had discussed kids we would get rather excited but we are both realists and would chicken out and say "next year".

I had been off the pill for just under a year and had only had 2 cycles in that year. I was also having a tough time emotionally...ahhh depression my ol nemesis!
I wanted a baby but did not feel ready at that point, I DID however want Kids and was VERY worried because it was not normal to have 2 cycles in 1 year!

I had been to the doc who did all the fertility tests, he could find nothing wrong with me.
So think of the odds of me falling pregant on demand...I have 2 cycles a year, which means I ovulate 2 times a year....I can't follow my ovulation at all as I have no clue as to when my cycle will strike so chances of getting jiggy with it at the right time is virtually impossible...RIGHT??

SIDE NOTE: We were not actively trying to fall pregnant at this point. I just wanted to make sure that I COULD if actually tried! The control thing AGAIN!

In March 2008 I would to go to bed after dinner and would wake up at 2am feeling like I have never even eaten that day at all..I was starving!
I would tip toe out of bed to make myself Milo just to curb the hunger pains. I thought that it was due to the fact that I was gyming 5 days a week and that I was burning a lot of energy.

In the beginning of April 2008 my mom and I went our for lunch. I ordered a toasted sandwich. When it came I suddenly got this insane desire for Tobasco sauce. I poured it all over my food and even put some into my saucer and merrily dunked the bread into it. I considered stealing the Tobasco as I wanted to glug it straight out of the bottle on the way home? My mom still gave me a very quizzy look and said "and now"???

April came, we went to a 21st birthday party, I walked around like I had drunk an entire bottle of wine - I felt totally tipsy. I remember laughing and telling Chris I could party on soda water.

SIDE NOTE: I do not drink at all! Why you may ask? Anti- Depressants and Alcohol are not a great combination for me!

Later that week I went to gym and was jumping around doing my cardio when I suddenly realised that my boobies were incredibly sore...so sore in fact that I was actually holding them but still the penny did not drop.

I was sitting at moms house on voters day, mid April telling my mom how odd and bloated I felt. She look at me and said Mands you are pregnant...WHAT NOOO? I said but I could not get her words out of my head.
So that afternoon, I made Chris take me to the only 24 hour pharmacy that was open on a public holiday and bought a test. I went straight to the public loo and did the test - classy I know.

It had no lines at all...for those of you who don't know how these tests work....1 line is negative, 2 is positive and no lines --- defective.
I burst into tears and told Chris that there was something seriously wrong with me...I was defective. He just laughed and bought another test and told me to do it again.

I was feeling stubborn and was now totally over all this hormonal stuff, I did not want to think about it anymore, so I told him that I could not wee and would do it later.
So off we went.
Much later after a good few cups of Coffee I decided to give the test another go..lets just say that it was not even fully wet and it had 2 DARK lines - Positive!

I started to shake and ran out the bathroom screaming excitedly... Its positive, it is positive...my entire family were there. I ran around with a pee stick in my hand shoving it in everyones faces.

I did not break the news gently poor Chris. I ran in like a whirl wind and have been whirling ever since!

Much Love M

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