August 03, 2010

Smug Married People.

Feeling: Happy

Last night an old girl friend (I have known her all my life) came over to drop off an awesome gift for Luke...A Springbok jersey that says "Future Springbok" awwwww too cute. Thanks N!
My hubby was really good at Rugby in his youth. He even made the under 21A Rau team and the junior Lions squad - forgive my bragging :-). Maybe Luke will be a chip off the old BOK?

I have not seen this friend for a few weeks, you know how it goes when you are a working mother?Your routine, social appointments.... okay in all honestly life revolves around baby, his moods, illnesses, teething and sleeping patterns.

I find it especially hard to get together with friends who are single or do not have kids. I am not saying this as a smug married person (a line stolen from Bridgette Jone's Diary - if you have not read it, please do) but I am saying this as a now socially withdrawn mother. I used to catch up with friends whenever I had inclination to do so but now social visits need to be a well planned and carefully executed with military precision!

We need to meet somewhere where kids are welcomed otherwise I sit the whole time getting hairy eyeballs from the neighbouring tables as my son throws the spoon on the floor for the millionth time, bangs the table, tries to grab my boiling coffee, cries after I take any dangerous objects away from him or flicks his food on me,the floor and at times on those not further than 2 metres away from us! I have given up cleaning toys or dummies that he has thrown on the floor. I now apply the 10 second rule or pop it into my mouth!

We need to meet at a time that is not slap bang in the middle of his naps - not easy when his nap times can vary anywhere from half and hour to a full hour on any given day. My kid is just not a routine shmootine kinnda guy! I am NEVER late, I have a type A personality so this has been a big adjustment.

Then it is the physical battle of packing his bags, bottles, food, pram and toys while having him stuck on my hip because he won't let me put him down, he is going through the clingy stage (I must admit I love it, makes me feel important) but he weighs 10Kgs!
Packing and unpacking all Luke paraphernalia is physically tiring, by the time I sit down for my cappuchino, I am sweaty, slightly pink, trying to remember if I put deodorant on, all the while pretending to look like this is easy and that I am in control! Glamorous?

I also try and wait a moment or 2 before we leave home, hoping that he will have a bowel movement so that he does not stink up where ever we are meeting people, trust me they could use Luke as a crowd clearing device.

I am not going to even get started on the horrendous conditions of baby changing rooms in this country -Clean much???

Most of them are so filthy dirty that I would not even put my dog on those matts!
I have on numerous occasions run my smelly boy into the parking lot to change the explosion in his nappy in the boot of my car....trust me.... not as easy as it sounds.

Okay I digress, back to my friend, she is single and has been playing the dating game.

The "game" is a distant memory for me but I do love hearing about her adventures! It is nice to sometimes have an adult conversation that does not require the words baby,vomit,teething or nappies anywhere in it!

The world of 25 plus dating seems to be quite a minefield. Gone are the days when manners maketh the man it seems!
Her stories made me laugh hysterically, you know that belly, teary eye, choke on your food, tea out your nose laugh. Yip that was me!
I wish she would write a book on her experiences, these men are absurd. Her stories make fact stranger then fiction. Stalkers, neat freaks, commitment phobs, scrooges...basically the big the bad and the ugly!

These 30 plus "potential" partners are too ridiculous for words, hmmmm maybe they were not breast fed as babies "giggle"!
I had better not say that because Luke was not breast fed but geez I do hope my son will know how to treat a lady, if not "I brought him into this world and I can take him out!" hehee.

I sat there enthralled by her world, a small part of me envious. She can do as she pleases, when she pleases, how she please and does not answer to anyone.
Then another part of me is thinking THANK GOODNESS I have Chris and that I do not have to go through all the rigmarole of the 25 plus dating game.

Trust me the rules have change, there is tough competition for very little reward, fair is not fair, men are not men and please ladies don't have an opinion, a brain or morals the man will run or try to mold or change you!



I do however confess that I on the odd occasion imagine the life of a singleton, the freedom, the living for ones self and only ones self. I can't but help getting a little nostalgic smile when thinking about my dating days, especially when cleaning house, paying boring utility bills, cleaning a crappy nappy, having no more than 2 hours sleep at any given time, buying formula instead of those really cute impractical shoes, telling everyone where I am all the times in case of emergency and feeling guilty if mommy/wife has a bit to much fun when with other people!

Do any of you remember that movie the name escapes me now.
The single friend asks a newly married friend "How are you?".
The newly married friend fights back a sob and says" I am fine but I have just realised that I will never be alone again!"

I can really relate to this. Marriage/motherhood can be quite Bitter/ Sweet!

In my case more sweet than bitter but I do occasionally dream!



Much Love M

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