August 04, 2010

Pineapple wins!

Feeling: Strong willed!

Think about this for a second.... IT GOES IN A CUCUMBER AND COMES OUT A PINEAPPLE!

What the heck is this mad mamma talking about you may ask?


This 1 simple line will explain why I controversially chose to have an elective Caesar. Please don't get offended if you had a natural birth, I think you are super human and applaud you -really I do!

When I first found out I was pregnant I was adamant that I was going to have a natural birth. I was often asked by people even complete strangers what I was planning to do when the time came. Funny how when you are pregnant your nether regions become a communal topic. I would often then clarify and say "a natural birth with drugs of course".

Many woman would then give me a relived, knowing smile, pat my belly and say good for you! ahhhh I was a part of the push a pineapple out of your v-jay club. Yipeeee go me! They like me, they really like me!

When I hit the 8 month mark in my pregnancy I began to actually think, visualise the birthing process.OMW it freaked me out...I have to push a 3 plus Kg person out of where? The reality of the entire situation set in and I started to talk to moms who had had Caesars. Just wanted to keep my options open!

These are the questions that I usually asked:

1. Why did you choose to have a Caesar?

2. Do you regret it?

3. How does it feel afterwards, are you able to skip,run, hop, jump?

4. Would you do it again?

5. What is your scar like?

Almost 99% of the mothers that I spoke to were happy with their elective Caesars and said they would do it all over again. They were honest and did tell me the pros and cons. There were a lot more pros then cons in my opinion.
There seemed to be very little drama involved and it could all be planned. A big tick right there in my am I going to have a Caesar box.

I then decided to watch YOU TUBE for some natural birth videos, ummm DRUG FREE!

I found a lot of clips and sneakily watched them at work with the sound off.

It all look rather romantic, the labouring mother surrounded by a support group, urging her to push as she concentrates, closes her eyes and pushes. Camera zooms down to her nether regions and you see the baby's head crown, shoulders and body slip out! The doctor/midwife/hubby then passes the bundle of joy to the flushed, glowing mother who is now sobbing as she kisses her new baby - pretty powerful stuff!

Then I made a huge mistake, I put on the sound..........!
OMW the women sound like they are dying... actually no not dying.... being tortured slowly. They scream, they yell, they swear, they grunt, they groan, they moan and cry! They sound like animals!
All the while exposing there nether regions to bored doctors/nurses who been there delivered that!
The glow that I could see on the exhausted new mothers face is actually sweat from the immense pain!
I then hear a doctor tell a woman that he is going to cut her v-jay or she will TEAR....WHAT your v - jay can tear?????.....I close my legs just thinking about it!

That was the final straw.... I called my Doc and asked him to book me a Caesar!
My google investigation was over Case Closed!
Viva caesar v-jay my choice!

Much Love M

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